Sunday, July 31, 2005

What was I thinking!

LOL OK i'm just kidding it's not a big deal. I'm recovering from being hot as heck in this town. What was I thinking when I moved to Arizona! LOL It's so hot here. and right now it's in the hundred + degree w/ humidity above 59% can we say YUCKY!!!! I'm ready to get a/c'd they make personal a/c units so I don thave to get sweaty?? LOL. Guess i'll have to tough it out. i'm looking for apartments and everything so we shall wait and see what happens w/ all of that


Thursday, July 28, 2005

It's Thursday know where your life is??

OK so it's thursday night. I'm bored :P. I went out the other night for a little while. I dont know what i'm doing LOL someone please tell me there's a book out there that has instructions on dating.

I've not heard anything from R. at all so that's pretty much over. If he even cared he would at least IM me. Oh well...Guess that's the rules of my life..I always want what I cant have...

The picture is of my kitten Harley. My brother in law shaved him since he was sooo incredably furry..poor kitty cat. he now has a mohawk and a pouf on the end of his tail..poor kitty LOL


Sunday, July 24, 2005

Ahh and yet they've redeemed themselves

OK so I complained about Cingular and all the problems i've been having. So no big deal I'll deal with that. Now that Cingular has decided to go ahead and give me a replacement phone due to my Warrenty exchange. So I get my new phone and instead of a V400 they give me a V551..WHOOT WHOOT!!! Cause it's a great phone w/ bluetooth technology and video capabilities :)



Thursday, July 21, 2005


OK so today I call up cingular. Problem on my account AGAIN. Sheesh it's been like forever since i've had a normal bill. They dont seem to care. The customer service just completely sucks :( I'm kinda sick of it. OH well I guess...wonder if there's another service out there that actually works! ARGH!!


Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Picture of me...

Life, Love, and Happiness

So i was supposed to go out last night and have a drink with a guy i've been chatting with online for about six months. I ended up with a migraine so I didnt go. This morning I was supposed to go to have an MRI done. I got there got suited up they stuck me in the tube and I FREAKED out. Did I fail to mention i'm claustraphobic? Oh yeah I am. even with my eye's closed and breathing slowly I still couldnt breath! SO I freaked out they took me out of the tube and I called me dr so he'd give me a sedative for the next time I have to go do it....Yeah i'm a wussie...what's your point.
I recieved a phone call today from the guy who I was supposed to go out with. Made plans for this weekend. Hopefully the migraines stay away...Guess we'll have to wait and see. it's like these migraines are ruling things in my life. But we shall see.

Other than that not much else going on....


Monday, July 18, 2005


OK so after dealing with idiots yesterday at the water park I go to work today only to deal with it more. I hate my job. I want a new one but...dont feel like putting forth and effort anymore. I need to get a life. Oh well. I am dating a little...which is always an interesting thing...Many stories to tell..kinda like the guy that farted for the first twenty minutes we were together...I finally got up to go potty and handed the waitress a twenty and left...was that wrong of me...OOPS LOL a faux Paux oh well...


Sunday, July 17, 2005

Do I have idiot across my forehead?

My niece and I went to my work picnic today. It was fun. Except is it just me or do parents not give a flying crap what their kids do? I got home around four and text messaged someone who I was supposed to go out to the movies with. Giving it just one last hope that he would text me back. No such luck. So at this point i'm taking the hint. Although I deleted his number out of my cell I had it in the text messages he's sent me previously. Now i've just gone ahead and deleted all his text messages...Everything.... I have a tentative date with a guy i've been talking too online. Well it's not even a date. were meeting for drinks to see how we like eachother before anything else happens.


One of those days

Have you ever had one of those days. Where you just wish there was someone at home you could go home too and spill out every hurt and woe? Today was one of those days. Combined with the fact that I dont think that the person I was hoping to date for a while even cares that I exist. I text messaged him twice today and never recieved a reply. It seems like the only time we get together to do something is when it's convient for him. I dunno. I dont want to be someones F*** buddy. I want more then that and I guess he's not wanting more then that. So I deleted his number out of my cell phone........and off my Messenger list. I dont need someone like that in my life anymore. If i'm not even good enough for a text message or phone call every once in a while...I dont need it. I dealt with abandonment issues from my father all my childhood and my entire married life I felt as if my ex didnt want anything to do with me and stayed away all the time. I dont want a boyfriend like that as well. Is it even possible anymore to find a man that wants a managomous relationship?

I'm not asking for a man to take care of me. I can do that fine all on my own. I do however want my emotional needs met. Maybe i'm too emotionally needy. I dont know anymore. Truthfully I dont know what i'll do if the above mentioned person does call me. I text him thursday about making plans for this weekend... he replied that he wanted to go...but then ignores me. I give least for now.... I'll just move on to bigger and better things I guess...too bad...I really liked this person.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Go to bed!

OK so it's one thirty in the morning. I just got done reading a book. For those that know me..I can blow thru a book in a few hour's if everyone would leave me alone :) So I read a book tonight..Quite interesting. It was on divorce and remarriage and the biblical aspects of it all. Definately an eye opener. I've thought a lo tabout what I want lately. Although i'm not going to spill my guts on here since who knows who's reading this. I'm glad that i'm free of the entanglment I had back in Missouri. I'm glad that i'm moving on with my life. Who know's maybe i'll find a person who will love me exactly the way I am. And wants me to love them unconditionally... It amazes me how much harder life has become since i've become single..but in a way. life is also so much more simple and relaxed compared to what it was's past my bedtime. Hopefully i'll get to go see Charlie and the Chocolate factory this weekend. I text messaged a friend to see if he wanted to go...Now let's work out plans :P


Thursday, July 14, 2005

Good Morning

So. It's a Thursday morning. I'm not quite used to this new shift yet. I woke up this morning thinking it was Friday. I'm used to being off on Wednesday so I woke up a little confuzzled this morning. No big deal. I love my new shift. Used to be when I lived in Missouri and worked this shift I'd go to bed at two or three am and wake up at ten thirty and get ready and rush out the door at eleven fifteen. Now I wake up at around seven or seven thirty and get up get online and get some stuff done around the house or just relax...much less stressful then running ninety to nothing trying to get to work on time. The only stressful time is attempting to get my darn niece to HURRY UP! She doesnt like to shower and get dressed and everything and it drives me insane. She's kinda lazy in that respect however she's seven so apparently that's normal.

Anyways on the dating front...nothing going on really. But I think what i'm going to do is take some time out of my life for me. I need to be happy with myself before anyone is going to be happy with me. :)


Tuesday, July 12, 2005


OK so this has been a somewhat slow week. Spent the day with my niece. Went out on a date again. New guy...Pretty nice however I dont know. I'm wishing the person I want to "exclusively" date would pull his head out of his...well you know...but it seems like seeing him once a month is good for him. A little frustrating if you ask me but alas..apparently this is how the whole "dating" thing works LOL.

I talked to a friend yesterday. He pretty much put me in my place. He told me that even though it's been almost two years since my seperation that i'm still playing the victum. Also that my attitude stinks... I complain a lot to him that i'm lonely and that it sucks being single. He advised me that no one is ever going to want a woman who cant entertain herself and who has to have a man in her life in order to be happy. So i'm pulling up a new outlook on life...No more poor me attitude and no more Oh life sucks kind of attitude. I'm putting a postive spin on my life from here on out. Let's just hope it works. My attitude has stunk. I've blamed a lot of my current problems on my divorce and my mother but from here on out...what happens in my attitude is all me. A reflection of me. No more blaming someone that my life sucks cause of them. :)


Friday, July 08, 2005

Come and Get your LOVE!

OK so here I sit yet again on a Friday night with a whole lot of NOTHING to do and a lot more of ABSOLUTE bordom......Oh well I guess...... One day I shall find a nice guy who loes me unconditionally :) I went on a date the other night...Was quite interesting to say the least....Too bad it seems like every man I meet is not quite ready for a relationship...Ready for sex...but forget the relationship :(

Sunday, July 03, 2005

it's been a while.

Yeah yeah I know it's been a while I've been busy moving. I'm now in Arizona living with my sister. I miss missouri a lot but I dont miss the memories. Things are harder out here. Monetarily anyways. I miss my friends. and most of all I still miss him. However i'm doing something some may consider hateful. I'm claiming bankruptsy and put down to surrender the truck. I cant help it. If I dont claim now then six months down the line the truck get's repo'd then i'm responsible for it. Not just that but that damn truck should of been out of my name a long damn time November 30th 2004 to be exact. So I dont really feel sorry for him. He's done nothing but hurt me all this time. And i'll be darned if i'll let him hurt my credit anymore so i'm just gonna claim the bankruptsy and get on with my life.

I'm living with my sister and her fiancee. It's not too bad really. I spend the majority of my free time with my niece and when my sister is home with my niece and sister. But i'm still lonely. I want someone who cares about me but I just cant seem to find that one person. Maybe I screwed that up by not making my husband happy originally. I dont know. i'm so tired of feeling like it was all my fault. No one cares that I was so damn lonely. That he worked so many hours. Heck his boss never put in as many hour's as he did. But they all thought it was alright. What about my needs? What about when my grandmother died and my work called him and he came and said "follow me and go home I dont have the time to bring you back to get your van later". Or when I was leaving to go to Kansas City to fly to California for the funeral and he didnt even care I was in so much pain. No one cared. Or how about when my grandfather was sick or the million of other times I needed him and he was never there. but no I was the horrible wife. Yeah our house would be messy but hell he lived there too! UGH I hate my life so much. I can only Pray that GOD gives me the strength to go on and get over it all and find someone who really does love me.

Catherine Tiffany