Am I going to make it??? HUH HUH???

I wonder some days if I am going to make it thru pre-teen years with my Step daughter. she's 11 and OMG...I truly wonder.

One of her few chores is to wipe down the kitchen counters. Today when I got home you could see the counters were WET and nothing had been cleaned off she merely swiped at them with a SOPPING wet sponge. So I called her in and asked if the counters were cleaned correctly. She indignantly yelled at me (which is the WRONG thing to do honestly!) that THEY ARE CLEAN. So I advised her ok. Then she could eat her supper right off of the counter and that would be fine for me. She hurumphed and got pissy and I asked her if they were really clean or if they needed wiped down again. Her attitude back to me was...Well if you want them YOUR clean then do it yourself. OMG..I am 9 1/2 months pregnant. I have been working 60 hours a week to pay for HER extra curricular activities and she said that to me!!! Needless to say her father quickly broke in before I rang her little neck.

OK what else do I need?

As far as my baby shower this past weekend I got all of the big stuff I really need.
Now I am down to what of the little things do I need?

I know I need the following :

Baby Bath Towels (obviously optional)
Blankets (at least 5 more)
Bottles (8-10)
Cloth Diapers (for burp rags)
Swaddling blanket?
Cradle sheet (if available)
Mittens
Baby Tylenol
Baby gas relief
EAR thermometer
Laundry soap
Nasal aspirator

OK now I know I have enough clothes for her and the things above are needed, But can anyone else think of what I need? Anything? Cause I am clueless..

Happy Happy Joy Joy :)

I have been doing good. It's getting closer and closer and I am getting excited. It's getting harder to move though :) But honestly in all it's going well.

Things are going well right now and I have been slowly but surely getting the baby stuff all ready to go. I am soooo anxious for this Saturday when I will get my baby shower stuff. My brother and sister in law bought me the travel system which I just love. I'm honestly not sure what all i'm getting but at least I know I will have a place to put her in while travelling, and a crib here at home and my twin gave me her old porta crib (which my almost 3 year old neice still sleeps in when she visits my house :)

Not much longer.....

I'm sitting here at 11:30 at night trying to decide what to do next. There is so much to do before Sarah get's here I cannot believe it. I swear six months ago when I found out I was pregnant I thought that I had all the time in the world and here it is...26 day's before she should be here and I am sitting here freaking out!

I am so excited that she is coming. I am excited that next week I get to have a huge party just for her :) I cannot believe that I am having a baby. A little tiny bundle of joy all to myself. After thinking for years that I just could not have one, I am going to have my own little sweetheart.

Dennis bought her the cutest bib/blanket/hat/bootie setup from Disney when he took Ashley this week. It is so friggin adorable. It even has her name embroidered on the hat and the bib. I'm going to take it in to get her name embroidered on her blanket too so I can take her to get cute pictures in it :) I am truly excited about all the pink going on :) I do need to start washing all this stuff and getting it ready for when she get's home.
fun times I tell ya!@!!

Cathy

28 More days :)

Can you believe it. I am 36 weeks. I went to the doctor and he said that I am 2 cm dialated. how exciting :)
I have nothing done. I got home today and rather hten cleaning baby stuff. I cleaned most of my bedroom/home office. Tomorrow when I get home from the dr I need to start cleaning up all the baby stuff and put together her bassinet. I love it. It's so cute and I cannot wait to see her in the bassinet.
I screwed up the other day. While on my way home from my sisters house with the crib in the back of the truck, Somehow it caught air and came undone from the straps and bye bye birdie...it hit the ground while I was going 40mph and shattered into a million pieces. I stood there crying to my sister on the phone and trying to pick the stuff up out of the middle of the road. Gawsh I suck. A $300 crib..in splinteres.

Now to buy a new crib..damn...

How addicted am I?

67%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

31 days and counting down

I'm so excited. My shower is just two weeks away. The baby should be here in about four weeks. How much more excited can I get? I start my weekly dr's appointments on Tuesday. On Wednesday I am going to be officially 9 months pregnant. WOW. it's all rushing up on me all of a sudden!

I will finally take a belly photo since I finally look less fat and more pregnant which makes me happy. Well it did until some little girl goes. MOM that woman is FAT.....when I was walking into Wal Mart the other day. I was almost in tears.

I know i'm fat. but darn it..I'm almost 9 months pregnant too!!!

41 Days left!!!

Can everyone just believe I have 41 days left. I cannot believe it. I'm sitting here looking at what we have. (Which is NOT much) and OMG I need so many things. I am so excited though. I had an emergency trip to the L&D on Monday night. Little Sarah decided to STOP moving for almost a full day. I could not figure out what in the world was wrong. I kid you not the second I sat on the table and relaxed and the hooked up the baby monitor...THE KID MOVED...ALL OVER THE PLACE...what a rugrat LOL :) so now... She's been moving. I guess when I am severely dehydrated, she will slow down moving. So I have been averaging about 6 bottles of water a day and then some other fluids.

My baby shower plans are well on their way. I am so excited. I have lot's of friends coming from all over Arizona and I cannot wait to meet with them as I've been so busy with work and everything I have not had time to connect with them all.

So this baby not only nets me the one little thing I have been wanting for years and year. I now get to have Sarah and get to meet up with all my friends. and although many of them will not know eachother...I get to be their connection :)
Oh and we get to watch my sisters new 62" flat screen TV LOL

The nights after Christmas..and all thru the house....

All of the creatures are stirring..however we got rid of the mouse.

We got the kids a Wii for Christmas..or well Santa got the Wii (why does the fat guy in red get to give the GOOD gifts) I have to say it is the most LOVED gift in the house. Brian (the roommate) never touches any of the other games like the PS2 or anything like that. However even HE will get in on the action and play.
We bought on extra Wii-mote and nunchuck however, we are going to have to invest in two more..we are definately not a sharing family LOL :)
The kids are definately getting exercise LOL :)

My niece also got a Wii at her house so when she came to spend the night last night she brought us her two wii motes and that allowed us all to play..it was much easier then sharing :) So alas... after payday happens again we will have to invest :)


Update on being preggers :)

I am tired, I am grumpy. I am not sure why I am as grumpy as I have been. Really there is a lot of stress and I am really quite frustrated. I think it's mostly because things are not going my way. ie: there is none of the things I always wanted for my first child ie: nursery, her own decorations etc. We are going to have to squeeze everything in to the room with the kids, the baby will have to share everything etc.
But it will work out. God has a plan I know that much. I really need to si back and relax and try to enjoy it..cause once she's here..things are really really going to change....

Photos--

Misc Photos over the last year..

ta

1) Choose the 4th folder where you store your pictures on your computer

2) Select the 4th picture in the folder

3) Explain the picture

4) Tag 4 people to do the same

NO CHEATING! (cropping, editing, etc!)

71 more days..oh and a funny story

I'm sitting in my chair. with my laptop in front of me. Emily (the kitten!) is sitting on my boobs/stomach area.
Sarah started kicking.
Apparently she doesnt like Emily sitting on her. So Sarah kicked real hard and the cat just jumped up. For a second I was just laughing. and then sarah kicked again. Then the darn cat POUNCED on my stomach. Dennis does this thing where he will put his hand under the blankets and antagonize the kitten to no end. And the kitten will attack his hand and inevitably it ends with Dennis going OOOOUUUCHHHH she bit me!! cause she's got sharp teeth and claws.

So you can imagine what I did when she pounced by belly. Darn kitten and kid are already playing...they just dont know :)

Some photos from long ago :)

Ten more weeks

It's hard to sit here and think. OMG..ten more weeks. adn I will have this little, tiny, helpless creature that I am supposed to take care of for the next 18 years. She is kicking like crazy all the time. I went to my 30 week checkup this morning. The dr says everything looks good and I'm ok to go off to California for a week with the family (since I am still pretty early in my third trimester) he did say that I am not allowed to travel outside of the area once the middle of January comes around. So I will have to let my boss know that.



I can't believe Christmas is almost here. Dennis gave me one of my presents from him and the kids on Sunday. It's a beautiful eddie Bauer Newport Bassinet. Which is one I wanted but figured he'd nix the idea since it's $150!! And heck for $200 I could get a crib. But I got what I want :) and i'm going to put it together after Christmas and start getting a little more read :)
I am so excited! :)

Christmas Ornament traditions

When I was growing up my grandparents would buy us a new ornament every year..Imagine doing that for 6 grandkids!! When I was 17 I got married and moved to Missouri, That Christmas my grandmother shipped off all of my ornaments and a new one too! I loved those ornaments. They were the most special things in the world to me. There were some that were just cheap dollar store type with my name written in Sharpie on the bottom, and there is one that is so elaborate that it makes me giggle with glee when I see it. When I turned 24 my ex husband and I divorced…He destroyed all but one of them (the elaborate one happened to have a piece broke off so I had put it in a box and stashed it away in the thought that I was going to fix it then pack it back with the Christmas stuff) Here it is five years later. I cried two years ago when I purchased a tree and realized I had absolutely no ornaments to put on it. My best friends from Texas were thoughtful enough to actually purchase a bunch of them and send them to me for Christmas of 05…My first Christmas alone. This year when my new step children and I were putting up the tree (I’ve been married for over two years, we just didn’t put up a tree the last two years) I cried for an hour because I love these new ornaments just as much….That’s not to say I don’t want to punch my ex in the mouth for what he did to the other ones. But these new ones are so special. So I think everyone should have this tradition and their children will hopefully love and cherish these ornaments as much as my twin sister, brother and cousins all do.

One word Tag

One Word Tag

Where is your mobile phone? Purse

Where is your significant other? Room

Your hair color? Blonde

Your mother? Bullhead

Your father? California

Your favorite thing? Family

Your dream last night? fitful

Your dream goal? Happiness

Room Your In? Living

Your hobby? reading

Your fear? Bugs

Where do you want to be in 6 years? HOME

Where were you last night? Home

What you're not? Grumpy

Where you grew up? California

The last thing you did? Nachos

What are you wearing? Clothes

Your TV? SHARP

Your pets? Playing

Your computer? Laptop

Your mood? Relaxed

Missing someone? Yeppers

Your car? White

Something you're not wearing? Ring

Favorite shop? Target

Your summer? Far

Love someone? Many

Your favorite color? Blue

When is the last time you laughed? Minutes

Not Me Monday

OK..so many people are doing this now days I guess I can chime in to.


I most definately did not sleep late every day this week, nor did I take full advantage of the fact that I work from home in order to work in my PJ's until the last minute.

I most definately did not find a kitten at the store Thursday night when hubby and I went to Pets Mart to look for fish for the kids' fish tank and then end up getting said kitten.

I most definately did not feed said kitten fish off of my dinner plate on Friday just because I knew she would eat it.

I most definately did not take my nieces, and kids to the Costco and let them try samples of everything including the coffee samples just to let them have some fun.

I did not allow the above mentioned kitten to sleep on top of me last night and the night before. And she is not sitting on my baby tummy right now kneading it with her paws..trying to get comfy. While I feel the baby kicking at her.

I did not allow said kitten to terrorize my 90 lb German Shepard/Blue Heeler all weekend.

I did not sleep until TEN am this morning and then at four pm take a two hour nap. And I am not now up after midnight..watching family guy.


Goodnight everyone :)

and here's a picture of that kitten I did not get form PetsMart

Tag...I'm It

1. Who was your FIRST prom date?
Travis Tiffany, First love, and eventual husband and subsequent EX-husband


2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
Nope.. I've not talked to him since March of 05...

3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?
The first one I remember is GoldSchlager...YUCK

4. What was your FIRST job?
I worked at Jack In The Box when I turned 15 1/2

5. What was your FIRST car?
1985 Ford Escort hatchback...


6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today?
I don't remember getting a text today except work (Our claims come through a text system)


7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?
I thought of Sarah..she kept moving around.

8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
I honestly do not remember her name. I remember my kindergarten teacher is/was Karen.


9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
I flew from Southern California to Northern California when I was 4-5 years old

10. Who was your FIRST best friend and are you still friends with them?
My twin sister has always been my best friend. No matter what she has always been there for me.

11. What was your FIRST sport played?
I played softball..


12. Where was your FIRST sleep over?
Rebecca Villaneda's house :)

13. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?
Hmm... I am pretty sure it was Dennis...that was over 12 hours' ago...


14. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
I was in my own wedding when I was 17

15. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
I got up and went POTTY...


16. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?
I went to see NKOTB with my twin, my aunt and my uncle for our 10th birthday

17. FIRST tattoo or piercing?
I got my ears pierced when I was like 6 weeks old..

18. FIRST foreign country you went to?
The only foreign country I have been too is Mexico

19. What was your FIRST run in with the law?
I got pulled over for lack of tail lights. however I drove a stick shift so no, they would probably of not seen the brake lights cause I used to down shift to stop (bad brakes darn it!) I was 16


20. When was your FIRST detention?
Honestly never had detention

21. What was the FIRST state you lived in?
I was born and raised in CALIFORNIA

22. Who was the FIRST person to break your heart?
My now Ex husband

23. Who was your FIRST roommate?
MY twin...now if we don't count her it would be my now ex husband and if you dont want to count him then it would be Tina.

24. Where did you go on your FIRST limo ride?
My mom got a limo for a night out with my step father and we got to be taken to my grandparents in it. Nice long black limo..with a sun roof that we took turns popping our heads out of :)

Whale Wars

OK so we have been watching a show on Animal Planet a show called Whale Wars.
This is a show about some activits that board Whaling ships in the Antartic waters and they consistantly throw stuff at the Japanese ships (some kind of acid that stinks really really bad) and they push stuff into the path of the ship in the hope that they will tear up the rotors of the ship etc. To me that is just nuts. Granted I can understand that people want to act out against whaling, however to try to hurt people like that, and then say that you are not a pirate is just ignorant. You try to destroy another boat, you board it with the intent of "teaching someone a lesson" you are a pirate. YOu have no right to board the ship.
In the show tonight the Japanese took the people that boarded their ship and basically tied or handcuffed the guys. So the people on board of the "sea Shepard" which is the activists boat. Anyways they basically call what I guess would be the coast guard in that area saying that they have taken them hostage and that they are keeping them against the war. Well to the Japanese ship, these two people that boarded the ship are Pirates. They are there to take over, to be hostile.
So the Activists run their boat up against the side of the the Japanese Ship and start throwing the acid again. Then they get pissed off when the Japanese start throwing flash bombs. Anyways. I just think this is ignorant. These people are activists that are being idiots. I'm not a whaler, I love watching them in the wild open. However for people to be violent towards whalers that are (under their guise anyways) doing what is right under the laws of that part of the ocean... Even GreenPeace has kicked the guy that runs the Sea Shepard from their organization (He was one of the founding members of Green Peace!!!) So that should tell you something.

Anyways. Just my rant...

So..How goes it?

So I am officially at 24 weeks...The week of viability. Things are going well. The dr says that the last ultrasound shows everything looks good. They are going to do one more ultrasound just to make sure that she is still growing like she needs too.
I have to say it's just amazing how I feel her move from the inside and out. It's the most awesome feeling in the entire world. I love it. Although sometimes it hurts like the dickents! LOL but it feels great too.

Work is going well . I am always tired but I honestly do not know what else to do but keep sleeping. And if this is the worst I feel...then it will be alright.
As of 12/1/08 I will no longer be climbing about on roofs though because I do not want to take any chances. The dr says as long as I am comfortable doing it I can. But I don't think I feel comfortable anymore.


Other then that, not much has been going on recently. Just waiting another 100 days or so and then I shall have a little angel to call my own.

Granted I have two step kids, but it's not the same. I honestly do not know what has gotten into them but lately they have not been listening, they have not cared to do what they are supposed too and I have no idea what to do in order to change this... The only thing that gets them off their rear's is yelling and fankly I am sick of yelling. They are sick of hearing me yell.
and i'm frustrated!!

Sad day

Today is a sad sad day. As I sit here and it was just announced that Barak Obama....has won the presidential election. This marks the opportunity for our world to sure change...and unfortunately, I do not believe it will be very good. McCain lost because so many were so desperate to vote in a black man, they did not care who they voted in. Hillary would have been a better choice.
The sad part is for many who own guns, you better start tucking them away and hope and pray that no one knows that you have them.

Whatever our difference...We are fellow Americans....

I hope and pray that this doesnt totally change the way our economy is, or how our daily lives are led. That we do not have a total breakdown in our social system, This is goign to be quite an interesting four years...

Now please do not think that I was/am a McCain supporter, but I definately do not believe in all the things that Obama has agreed on, Obama believes in partial birth abortion, taking away guns from a man who should have the right to bear arms. etc etc....How sad..

Happy Halloween...

Took the kids out. Here's a few photos. Top one has my two kiddos and my sisters two daughters. the second on is my Dog Sadie. She had to trick or treat with us, which she loves :) She get's lots of attention. Yes she is spoiled.

Now the baby update:
She moves around so much I wonder what in Gods green earth can this kid be doing in there? Wow!. She is truly a gift from God because she is very strong and Wow I never thought I would feel this way...The movements just re-affirm that my wish is truly coming true.

How is it?

I am only 22 weeks pregnant and I am exhausted. I went to bed at 11pm last night and did not get up until 8:15am. Over nine hours of sleep and i'm still exhausted What is going on here. I get half way thru my day and start thinking..Is it nap time yet?

I go on Monday for an "anatomy" scan of the baby to verify for sure that its' a girl.

Luckily work has not been too horrible. It's actually slowed down to a steady pace. This weekend we are going to go hunting as a family. Ashley and I got Deer tags however since I am pregnant and cannot shoot,nor am I up for getting up at four am... I am signing my tag over to my "dependant child" ie: my son Jeffery.
Now let's see if I get any deer jerkey..yumm...
Although..I will eat the Jerkey, I will NOT eat the meat otherwise. Dennis and Brian are getting steaks out for dinner tomorrow...I will be eating Mac and Cheese.
The kids will eat Antelope steaks with the guys... I just cannot Stomach that!! :)

C.

Time to really start praying

I am officially 20 weeks along already. And i'm starting to have immense fears.
I had to go to the doctor last friday. And found both good and bad news. The baby is doing fine. I on the other hand..not so good. Right now my cervex is extemly short and this can be a huge precursor to premature labor. So I am on strict "pelvic" rest. Not a huge deal honestly but it's scary when it comes to thinking that this can lead to this baby coming way too soon. I do not want to lose this child that I prayed for, for so long. Now I have to be so careful. And then add to the fact that I will have also having a problem with my blood pressure. I cannot continue to stress. but how do you just "don't stress" like everyone tells me! Argh.. I definately need to figure out something. I cannot do the whole bed rest thing. I have a husband and kids to provide for. It's not like their biological mother is going to be putting forth a darn penny for their care.

I need a vacation....

Gawsh

it's funny how I always said that if I ever got pregnant I would not be an emotional wreck nor would I cry or complain. (granted I was in like year five of six years of fertility treatments back then) Now....Now...it's free regin. I was dumb back then. I didn't understand what happens to your body when you are pregnant. I am always tired....emotional....and have heartburn darn it!!!!
:)
but i'm ok with it

C

How long could you survive?

I could survive for 1 minute, 3 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

BulletinsandSurveys

Married Survey

TAKE THIS SURVEY!

Family

Do you live near your family, your spouses, both or neither? I live near my twin sister and Hubby's family
How often do you see your parents or siblings? I see my twin every two or three days my mom and dad every couple of months
How does your spouse feel about that? I'm sure the fact that I see my twin so much drives him nuts..but he understands
How many nieces and nephews do you have? I have Three Nieces and two nephews on my side of the family. And one niece and nephew on hubby's side.
Who were you closest to as kids out of your immediate family? My twin, and my Cousin sherene
Who are you closest to now? My twin and my cousin Sherene
Why? because we have always been close
Do you have any siblings who still have a little growing up to do? LOL nah we are all pretty good.
If you could save your younger brothers and sisters from a mistake you made, what would it be? I don't have any younger siblings
Who in your family can you talk to about anything at all? My twin

Friends

How many GOOD friends do you have? four or five
Have you had any falling outs with anyone you thought was your good friend? yes I have previously
Do you have as many friends now as you had in High School? I was shy and worked a lot so I have more now then back then.
Do you still party with your friends? LOL i'm a mother now..no partying for me
What else do you do with them? Enjoy going out to dinner, Go to church..those kinds of things
Are you surprised at who your closest friends have turned out to be? Yes..actually..
Which of your friends has the most high paying job? Hmm...I actually think I do.
What about the coolest job? My friend Aerin
Whose life surprises you most? Aerin's
Which of your friends do you have the most in common with now? My twin

In-Laws

Have you ever had a problem with your in-laws? Nope
Which in-laws? any of them..
Do you get along with all of them? As much as can be expected..
Who do you like the best? My sister in law is awesome..does that count?
Who dont you get along with? his bio mom
Have you ever gotten into an argument with the one you dont get along with? nope
Did you forgive and forget? I usually do..
Who is the quiet one? I dunno much about his family..it's best left that way
Who is the loud one? Dunno
Who is the daredevil? Dunno
Who is the most straightforward? Dunno
What do you like about your in-laws? Not much
Whats one thing you dont ever want to see them do? be near my children
Do they all get along with each other? I guess
When youre hanging out with them, what do they always seem to do? ignore the fact that Dennis and I and the kids are there
Do you join in? not normally.
Where do they mostly hang out? Home
Have you ever been talked about by them? i'm sure..
Do you still like them? Don't care either way.

Bills

Have you accrued any debt since turning 18? OH hell...who hasnt
What is your least favorite bill to pay? Credit Card payments
How often are you supposed to pay it? monthly (more on my work card)
How often DO you pay it? Monthly or more
What will your next major purchase be? a new washer more then likely..
Had to buy a washer and dryer yet? We bought a Dryer earlier this year...new washer is probably going to be needed soon.
What about a dishwasher or a stove/oven? We just got a new Dishwasher a year ago..it just got installed..I love my dishwasher..
If someone gave you money to improve your life, what would you want fixed first? once the baby is born I would like to get a tummy tuck or something.
How many bills would you say you get every month? Too darn many
How do you feel about credit cards? I use them and thus I pay them

Locations

What is the first thing you look for in a place to settle down in? Comfort
Are you planning on staying where you live now? It's paid for....no monthly payments on a house that's too small..better then paying rent to someone for the rest of my life
What do you like about where you live? Very little
What dont you like about it? It's too damn small for a family of four..soon to be five
If you could have all of your family and your spouses family in the same town, would you? Umm my family yes...his...hell can't we move them away farther (except for his bio dad's family..they are pretty nice)
How small is your town? not very..anymore
Whats the most fun thing to do there? not a darn thing
Does everyone there know you? nope
Name another place you think you would like to live. Colorado
Any place you would never want to live? New york

Random

Do you have a first aid kit? Yeppers one in each car and one in the house
Do you know how to give CPR/First Aid? Yeppers..took a couple of classes :)
Ever had to use it? yeppers..once
What medicines do you always try to keep stocked? Tylenol, children tylenol, tummy stuff for adults and kids and cough syrup for adults and kids
Do you often get stress headaches? Unfortunately, yes I do
Do you carry jumper cables in your car? yeppers...in all three of them
Have you ever had to change a flat? yes I have...a couple of months ago..
Can you change the oil? Yes...
What about the battery? yes
Do you work in an office or other setting? other setting..I work from home now..but i've done the office thing for a long time
How long have you worked there? seven months now...
Do you like your co-workers? lol yeppers..I talk to them on the phone daily
Do you hang out with them outside of work? umm not really, we don't live very close by
What do you think of your boss? He's actually very nice and funny.
What age are you dreading? I'm not..
Do you already feel old? No not really..I'm pretty young yet
Do you still get carded for anything? I do..for alcohol and cigarettes
How young does it make you feel completing online surveys? lol it doesnt.
Did I wear your old ass out with all these questions? NO
Do you have arthritis in your old brittle fingers now? NOPE

CLICK HERE TO TAKE THIS SURVEY!

More surveys @ BulletinsandSurveys.com

McCain - Palin

I have to say I have been watching closely since Palin was brought into the mix last week. I love the fact that she is very PRO Family. I'm glad she's not yet been shown to be two faced like many others.I think that the McCain and Palin ticket is going to be awesome. But, I'm very upset that they continue to bring Palin's daughter into the fray. She is 17, a child who made a stupid decision to have sex before marriage. however she is making a responsible decision to get married, have her baby and raise the child they made.

God Bless them both and I pray for McCain-Palin to make it!

Officially out of the first Tri-Mester

Isnt life grand. I'm not sick, havent been. I am just incredably tired...always tired. I don't know if it's the depression or the pregnancy.
It's 9pm right now and i'm ready to just sleep...always sleep.
My sister went with me to my last appointment on Friday morning. I know I have been very mouthy and bitchy for the last few weeks. They put me on Zoloft however, I don't believe it's going to work since i've taken it before. but really anything is better then nothing right now...please pray that I get over this!!! Soon.

Baby Ticker :)

It's all becoming so real. Each day I wake up and know that in so many days I will have a baby. A little tiny bundle of joy and energy that will require me to once again re-evaluate priorities and start changing my attitude! My step daughter is excited as heck that she's going to have a little baby or brother. So that she can play with the baby. I laugh because right now she loves seeing Ryleigh because well it's only every four or five days that she get's to see her and play with her and change her and feed her and things like that. but wait until she has to be part of the baby's life every day LOL..I wonder if she will quickly change her attitude. Jeffery wants a baby brother. but said he would gladly change diapers if it meant we got rid of his big sister...even if the baby is a baby girl LOL. I swear kid's say the darndest things. it's aftermidnight i'm going to bed. God bless and goodnight.

Catherine

Week 11

Wow, it's now week 11 and I still do not feel any different. I don't know why that is. I just need a little more time to get used to this I guess. I am happy, I am excited I am just not used to the headaches. I went to the doctor today so that I could get an ultrasound. It's fun times I tell ya. Sitting in the dr's office. Just not knowing what is going on.

the pictures of the baby above is a little grainy...as well..I am not very far a long. the baby is doing good and measuring well too :)

Catherine

ten weeks...

I'm so tired. LOL but I'm happy. I'm full of stew I just got done making. Half the time I eat I am ok. the other half of the time i spend about half my day feeling sick to my stomach. I don't know what to think of that.
It's funny how when iw as going thru infertility treatment I said I would NEVER complain about being pregnant. But uh..yeah...lol I must have lied :)
My husband is happy about the baby, my family is happy as well.
I on the other hand am scared to death that something I am doing or going to do will mess this up for me. I just want to have a happy healthy baby. God will provide I am sure.

The major complaint about everything is that I continue to get migranes. I am not sure why. It's going to kill me!!! When I first started getting migraines when I was married to my first husband, I would pop a couple of migrane medications and sleep. A LOT. but... I cant' take the medication being pregnant. and come on Tylenol does NOT cut this crap.... So please..just decrease the amount of times I feel like crap in a week so I can actually work.

From Infertility to Fertility

For years I wanted a baby. My ex-husband and I tried very hard (me more so then him since I was the one getting all the procedures done!) And the stress and pain of infertility just killed our marriage (among other things). At that point I gave up ever hoping that I would have a baby of my own one day. I did not want to go thru that ever ever ever again. I didnt want my crazy compulshion to have a baby to run my life like I let it so long ago. When I got married my new husband had/has two children. It was a dream for me. I got to be a parent, no midnight feedings, no diapers. It was awesome. We never worried about a baby coming a long because...well...after years of fertility treatment, it just never happened.
Two years after I remarried...I was not feeling well. I could not move without my boobs hurting. It felt like I was going to start my period any day. I was not feeling good. I was tired and drained every day. So even against my better judgement I went ahead and tested....I was late for my period but heck I am usually never "normal" so I went ahead and tested...and there was two lines. TWO lines. What the heck. how could that happen? OK well i know how it happens honestly. but What!!! it just "happened" after allthese years of being told it WOULD NEVER happen.
OH thank God! Miracles do happen!

Tired...A lot

What is the deal with being tired 24/7?? Cause I want to sleep every day for hour's a day. I guess that's part of being pregnant but COME ON I have to work!!! How do so many people birth so many rugrats!!! it's amazing.

Any suggestions?

is it in my mind?

Since I found out that I am pregnant I have felt more and more naseated and simply exhausted. I know before I found out I was not feeling all that great. but WOW I wonder if some of it is in my mind. If I didn't know would I just ignore it and go on a lot quicker? I dunno. But i'm totally tired. I took a four hour nap this afternoon and i am still tired. I have a load of paperwork to do for work and I am sitting in the living room blogging. Yeah I'm not getting much done am I :) LOL>

Ahh well.

Two lines on the stick

So this morning I was just going about my business but decided that I should pee on a stick this morning as I have been feeling a little "off" lately. So I peed on the stick and this is what came back:



OMG it's real and it's going to happen and if my calculations are approximated right, it's going to be February when this kiddo makes his or her debut. Now to find a dr in the area...

Cathy

Regrets?

Ok so there have been some things I have been working on with a lot of help from the doctor. One thing is regrets....He asked me if I have any regrets. I do. I only have a few the biggest one is not a huge deal but it's somewhat frustrating to me.

One is that I never called my Gramma Gray the night before she died. Even though two days before she passed I said I would call her. I got busy with work and life and forgot. When I got the phone call that she died....I was heartbroken. Although I told her I loved her on my last phone call. It was still heartbreaking.

The second, I did not spend enough time telling my Nana how much she meant to me. She and my grandfather both were integril parts in my childhod and between them and my mother and my Grandma gray, they helped to instill an awsesome amount of knowledge and love in my life. She was always there for me and heck everyone else and I have for over a year wondered what if anything anyone in our family could have done to prevent her death.

Other then those two things, I may have a few minor regrets however one of the big ones we discused was if I regeret getting married so young. I had to think about that one. Not because I wondered if I did but I wondered what I would have been had I not gotten married at 17.

I have to say I don't regret it. It took me a long time to get over him. I loved him and still do just not the way I did back then. I wish only the best for him. I know what our life was like. I know that we were very young and I wish in some way that we would have communicated differently and that in the end we had'nt hurt eachother as much as we did. but alas I moved on.

The shrink who I am paying a fortune too asked if the reason I am still so angry stems from the fact that the rumors were spread that I cheated on him. that still to this day haunts me. It hurts me to think that someone would entertain the fact that I cheated on my first husband. I never so much as touched another man except as friends until after we had been seperated for quite a while. No matter what the rumors were I still want to explain myself to him but he will always have his side of the story just as I will.

After losing everything once I am once bitten and twice shy so when i got married the second time I wanted to make sure it would last

I am a strong willed person I am a good person and I can be mean and hateful too when I don't get my way. I'm working on changing that but it sure is not easy. what ever happened to life being easy.

about me

Time.....

Where has the time gone? It is almost June. almost half way thru the year. The kids are out of school. I am already half way through my year and have to almost get ready to start buying presents for Christmas again.

I took my new job with the thought that I would be able to spend an awful lot more time working with the kids and the husband instead of with work. Instead now I am working...at least at home..so I get to spend time with them. But I am spending time at a desk in my bedroom away from the kids. I am thankful for the job and everything and am happy for my job but it kind of sucks that I am so new that I have to spend so much time doing what I am because Im trying to do everything to perfection.


Ahh how time makes things change.

Happy Mothers Day

This is my second year being a mother. A step mother but I have earned the right to be called a mother. 6 days a week I awaken to kids in my household that beg for food, require tending and desire attention. They need clean clothes, food, snuggled and loved unconditionally. I am thankful that I am a part of their life. It is actually two years today since I met these two kids. Two years ago today that I lost my heart to these two kiddo's. And for the last two years I have given it my all. Granted I have lost my temper, screamed, thrown my own fair share of tantrums and whined too. Becoming a step parents has not been an easy transition. But they are awesome kids so easily accepting me into their life.

A huge thank you to my mother, my grandmothers, and even my twin, for showing me how to be a good mom.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY EVERYONE!!!!!

Love,
Catherine