My poor car

OK so I got up this morning...and this is what my car looked like :(




can we say that i'm just extremly irritated.......

why?

OK so tonight I got dumped....this is how it went:

ME: So tell me the truth. You said at one time that you knew within a month that you and Tami were not compatable yet you stayed in a relationship for over a year. What do you feel about us.
CJ: well, honestly, yes if i think about it i don't really see us having a long-term relationship. and when i say that, i mean living together or getting married someday. although i have to admit that you remind me of what i am looking for in more ways than she did. but it still doesn't seem like the perfect fit, you know?

CJ: so i guess the question is, if you know that already, should you even bother dating? and i think it's better to spend time with someone that can be your friend even if it's not completely a match than to just call it quits. but what do you think?

ME: I really dont know what to say

CJ: i know it's not the best situation, but i don't know the best way to deal with it. but we should both be on the same page

ME: you know what you want. i'm not it. obviously it's apparent.

CJ it doesn't mean i don't try to treat you well like you deserve. but i'm not going to lie to you and tell you i'm in love only to dump you suddenly because i found someone else

ME: I'm not in love with you. but i'm glad I didnt get attatched.

CJ i know so i guess it still comes down to that question. which would you rather do? continue sharing what we have or nothing at all? or something else

ME: I cant answer that right now.

CJ: okay, i understand and i want to do what's best for you. so we can talk about it later. it is bedtime for both of us now

ME: i dont even know what' sbest for me

CJ: i know, me neither

CJ: well go to bed and get some sleep. have a good night

So....now what?

Well so i've been doing this thing called dating LOL i'm sure you've all heard of it.

I swear it get's more and more interesting every day. Life sure has a way of showing you that NOTHING that you do is going to EVER be the same from day to day.

Ahh well....

Cathy

50 of the most random things you probably never needed to know about me.

1. Your name spelled backward? yarg ennove enirehtac

2. Last incoming call on your phone? Angel, she was returning my call from yesterday trying to figure out where the heck her and her hubby have been lately.

3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? Trillian

4. What's your favorite restaurant? umm...Chili's

5. Last time you swam in a pool? This past summer at a friends house.

6. Have you ever been in a school play? no......too busy

7. How many kids do you want? ........That would assume I have someone in my life to make them with...

8. Type of music you dislike most? Rap,

11. Have you ever ridden on a mo-ped? no 12. Ever made a prank phone call? oh yeah

13. Best friends? I have two....Linda and Elizabeth (my twin)

14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? Umm....sure..as soon as I get over my fear of heights

15. Furthest place you ever traveled? I'm a looser....Chicago Illinois...

16. Do you have a garden? does the sand "zen" garden on my desk at work count?

17. What's the size of your bed? full/double

18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem? Yeppers and I have for real.....

19. Bath or shower? Morning or night? shower both

20. Favorite movie The Patriot 2

1. Favorite pizza topping? Pepperoni

22. Chips or popcorn? chips

23. What color lipstick do you usually wear? Whatever it was I purchased at ULTA two weeks ago..heck I dont know...it just looked ok...

24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells? why the hell would you smoke peanut shells in the first place?

25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? no.....like I would ever go to one of those lol

26. Orange Juice or apple juice? depends....am I sick? orange...every day..apple

27. Who were the last people you went out to dinner with? I went on a date to "The Olive Garden".....not gonna name names.....

28. Favorite type chocolate bar? Hershey's w/ almonds

30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato? Now your assuming I like raw tomato's

31. Ever won a trophy? yes.

32. Are you a good cook? I've been told I am...wanna come find out?

33. Do you know how to pump your own gas? yes i do, and I have since I was eleven...yes even before I learned to drive...

35. Sprite or 7-Up? Sprite

36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work? yes, Harrah's and The Edgewater made me wear them

37. Last thing you bought at Walgreens? Had to pick up my birth control pills and kleenex

38. Ever thrown up in public? once in Auto Class my junior year in high school....I asked to be excused he said to wait...I puked all over the kid next to me....oops..

39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love? I would rather find true love however knowing what I know now vs ten years ago when I thought I had found my true love....i'd take the money to not do that gain...

40. Do you believe in love at first sight? Cant say that I do...however LUST at first sight is always an option...

41. Can ex's be just friends? I do have a few guy's i've dated in the past that I still talk too...however my real ex oh heck no...i'd rather be friendless then attempt that again.....

42. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? Myself.....Heck I cant remember the last time before that really...

44. What message is on your answering machine? You've reached the voice mail box of "insert my name here" I cant get to the phone right now, leave your name and number after the beep I'll get back with you....Thanks..."

45. Where would you like to go right now? Somewhere that there is a beautiful sandy beach and a hot guy serving the drinks... 46. What was the name of your first pet? D-O-G...literally his name was DOG

47. what kind of back pack do you have, and whets in it? I have a timberland back pack I got like ten years ago...... Right now there's some paperwork from my attorney that I still have yet to read....if I dont read it does that mean that it doesnt exist?

48. What do you first look at on the opposite sex? their smile...

49. What is one thing you are grateful for today? Having the ability to care about someone.

50. What do you think about the person who posted this before you? Hmm I dont know him well enough to post all that much about him...However so far he's been a very nice guy....

Honesty Quiz...

Current mood: complacent

THE HONESTLY HONEST SURVEY FOR HONEST PEOPLE
1. Honestly, where are you now? Sitting on my couch in my living room
2. Honestly, have you ever failed a subject in high school? No. I did quite well.
3. Honestly, whats on your mind?If I told you I would have to kill you Actually Honesty i'm wondering about this guy who I went out with last week. Whether he's ever going to call me again...
4. Honestly, what is it that you really should be doing right now? Putting the clean sheets on my bed..
5. Honestly, have you brushed your teeth today?Yes...Yes I did...
6. Honestly, who are your best friends in the world? My friend Lynder in Texas and my twin sister Elizabeth
7. Honestly, who is the hottest person you know? Hmm....truthfully I dont know....
8. Honestly, are you a good friend? I like to think so
9. Honestly is school important? yes
10. Honestly, what are your dreams mostly about? Sex, love, happiness
11. Honestly, what makes you happy most of the time? My niece...She can always make me happy...
12. Honestly, how happy are you now? Not Particularly. I am actually slightly irritated and lonely.
13. Honestly, what song are you listening to? I'm not.....The new's is on in my bedroom though-
14. Honestly, who do you want to see at this very moment? This guy......but i'm not about to name names...
15. Honestly, do you have a deadly disease? I sure as hell better not....then again after all the tests I've had over the last six months for all of my migraines...i'm 99% sure i'm completely free of any disease
16. Honestly, do you hate someone right now? nah - but theres a lot of folks i cant stand
17. Honestly, who/what do you wanna hug right now? My grandpa.....I just saw him a few days ago. But I miss him always.
18. Honestly, are you bored? Not particularly.
19. Honestly, who do you wanna slap right now? I dont have that urge right now however ask me a little later i'm sure someone will irritate me enough to want to slap them.
20. Honestly, wouldn't you rather be sexing right now? Well yeah....who wouldnt
21. Honestly, do you like someone? Yes....I do...
22. Honestly, are you single? Yes...yes I am.....for now :) But I am hoping to change that....not into marriage but something that's more meaning ful then a FB
24. Honestly, does anyone like you? I sure as heck hope so...
25. Honestly, have you had sex in the past 2 months? Yes....., within the last two weeks.

For those of you that regularly read my blog

I know that I had to change the actual address of my blog. I had an issue with someone e-mailing me and being a completely hateful jackass. So I figured I would go ahead and change the information so that person could not read it anymore. I do not understand why people have to be judgemental jerks to everyone around them. Is their life so incredably boring and lonely that they need to find the time to read other's blogs and post hateful rude comments? I dont know but alas I have moved my blog and for those that have questions you can e-mail me directly.

Cathy

Merry Christmas.....

OK so i've had a headache since around noon. The family has run off to the movies and i'm here alone. Wishing this headache would go away. I'm also baking a cheesecake and getting supper ready. Were having Spiral baked ham...yumm.....

I was going to go see my mom but with the headache/migraine it is never a good idea to be some place that takes at a minimum of twenty minutes to get in or out of the building.

I think I royally pissed a guy off today... I guess honesty is not always the best policy..... I guess I should learn to have more tact.... I dunno....

Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas

For those of you expecting a Christmas Card. Sorry.. They will go in the mail tomorrow and I know once again something I send out will be LATE.

I'm so incredably bored. and not really caring about the holidays this year. I guess not having someone to celebrate with has really made me care less about the actual festivities oh well I guess. Life goes on and When God closes a door he opens a Window. So I need to be patient and have faith.......easier said then done.

Cathy

I'm bored. what can I say....

I'm bored so lets see: You Are

An Angry Pumpkin Face You would make a good smashed pumpkin.

What's" Your Pumpkin Face?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Friendly Philosopher. Where You Lived: Germany. How You Died: Hung for treason.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

Your Kissing Purity Score: 46% Pure

You're not one to kiss and tell... But word is, you kiss pretty well.

Kissing Purity Test

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

How Do You Live Your Life?

OMG this last one about how I live my life is so true... Kinda freakishly similar...

You are a Believer

You believe in God and your chosen religion.Whether you're Christian, Muslim, Jewish, or Hindu..Your convictions are strong and unwavering.You think your religion is the one true way, for everyone.

What's" Your Religious Philosophy?

Pepperoni Pizza

Robust and dominant.When you go for something, you go full force.You tend to take control of situations easily.And in return, you get a ton of respect.

What's" Your Pizza Personality?

And to think..Pepperoni is my favorite pizza...well actually meat lovers is..but I dont think that was an option :)

You're A Passed Out Drunk

Drinking gives you that warm fuzzy feeling, until you're thrown in the back of a police car...

What Kind of Drunk Are You?

And thus...I seldom drink for fear of being the above named person....

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time. You give and take equally in relationships. You need your space and privacy. You don't like to be smothered. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

Let's see if I can get this darn thing posted.

As I sit here....

I sometimes wonder why people do the things they do.

I received an email yesterday. From a guy whom I really like. This e-mail was a forward I dont think I should of received. It was a request to "help me find the love of my life."

Gee if that isnt a slap in the face.

Apparently, being with me isnt enough he's looking for the next best thing. It's so frustrating trying to search and find that one person that will love me unconditionally. I think i'm just going to give up dating or talking to people as this has to be a million times easier then getting hurt each time I turn around.....

Life is not easy...and it seems that it's not going to get any easier either...

Catherine

Hurricane Katrina I stopped feeling sorry for them now...

I'm fully aware that I am not a person that tolerates ignorance or stupidity well. So here's my opinion....

Recently FEMA has announced that those people that were displaced by the hurricanes earlier this year are going to have their housing cut starting in December. Thousands of people have been living in hotels since this happend almost three months ago. In those three months they have been given THOUSANDS of dollars to pay for their housing, food, and other asundry goods. These people have been handed jobs, new housewares, and in some cases given the opportunity to rent homes for lower prices. These people have had three months of paying NOTHING for their housing. I understand that they have lost many of their items (if not all of them) as well as been displaced however, after all they have been given many are still living in hotels and motels. Living off of FEMA. Why is it that they did not think in the three months they've been there that it would be a damn good idea to save up some money and find a place to live. I understand many thought at first they would be able to go back to their homes and maybe didnt think to do this. But after a few weeks...was it not obvious? They have been given the opportunity to save money (one family i know PERSONALLY received three months of hotel rooms, hundreds of dollars for food from the Red Cross and beaceaux amounts of free money for clothes etc....all while receiving government assistance for food as well as welfare and everything else they were getting in Texas....) They literally have four thousand dollars "saved" all the while they have been living in a hotel...free.... Yet they are complaining that they have to move by the first. They have money in the bank...what the hell is the problem!!!

I give up I have no sympathy for these people just because they were welfare idiots back in Louisiana or Texas does not mean that they should be able to mooch off the government for the rest of their damn lives. Ask me if i'm racist....and I will say i'm racist against ignorance, stupidity and people that just plain are too damn lazy to get off their asses and get real jobs to supporty themselves and their damn families....

Pictures of my niece...From Vacation

what is my blog worth?

My blog is worth $0.00.
How much is your blog worth?

yeah about that test........

So I got to the testing facility today. Check in. Got
seated....GO thru the test thinking that like 60 % of
these questions are NOT NOT NOT related to the
questions/studybook that we had. Why is that? Am I
taking the wrong test...Nope not the wrong test...So
what the heck happened?...........

So I took the test....


Hoped and prayed......

Played a lot of Eeny


meeny


Miney


Mo...


And finally they ask if I am ready to finish and I
select yes. Thinking that that's a good idea and
all...

So it then says................

Do you want to take a short Survey??


I'm like oh HELL NO>>!!! So I select no and it goes
like this..


Are you sure...

Are you definate youw ould not like to assist us with
a short survey...

Please help us to make this testing factility a better
place...

Thanks you for tryin the quiz...


Click here for your final score.......


and I click


and the page looks like psycho babble mess...

and................


Finally in size two font I see..........


"you've passed"








AAHHHH!!!

too bad i'm not allowed to scream YIPPEEEEE in the
testing class....

Can you tell i'm bored tonight.

Your Fortune Is

Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.

The Wacky Fortune Cookie Generator

You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Brainy Kid

In high school, you were acing AP classes or hanging out in the computer lab. You may have been a bit of a geek back then, but now you're a total success!

Who Were You In High School?

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You have a passion for everything - including sleeping. Outgoing and brash, you tend to still shock those who know you well. You tend to be selfish. You are the most likely type to hog the covers. You gravitate toward comfort and don't like extreme situations.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

You Failed the US Citizenship Test

Oops, you only got 5 out of 10 right!

Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?

Your Career Type: Conventional

You are orderly and good at following a set plan. Your talents lie in working with written records and numbers in a systematic, orderly way. You would make an excellent: Bank Teller - Bookkeeper - Court Clerk Mail Carrier - Post Office Clerk - Secretary Timekeeper - Title Examiner - Typist The worst career options for your are artistic careers, like comedian or dancer.

What's Your Ideal Career?

Visitor the Other night

LOL OK for those that have asked the visitor the other night was just a friend Sheesh i've had half my family and a bunch of internet friends ask who I was Screwing the other night.... Give it up!! I wasnt..I was unpacking and then sleeping!

C.

I couldnt Resist

International symbol of marriage is Approved
New York -AP- On Oct.27, 2005
After 5 years of heated debate, the Commission on Human Rights approved the new International Symbol of Marriage:

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	Catherine
Birthday:	October 28
Birthplace:	Torrance, California
Current Location:	Phoenix, Arizona
Eye Color:	blue
Hair Color:	blonde
Height:	5'7"
Right Handed or Left Handed:	right
Your Heritage:	a mix of all caucasian backrounds
The Shoes You Wore Today:	New Balance
Your Weakness:	Love
Your Fears:	Love..Spiders..pain
Your Perfect Pizza:	meat lovers
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	it's kinda close to the end of the year....I've already accomplished everything I wanted too
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	ROFLMAO
Thoughts First Waking Up:	Is there enough time to go back to sleep for a little longer
Your Best Physical Feature:	eye's
Your Bedtime:	between ten pm and one am
Your Most Missed Memory:	Umm..It cant be missed if it's a memory? unless I forgot it then how would I know
Pepsi or Coke:	Dr Pepper
MacDonalds or Burger King:	Neither
Single or Group Dates:	Single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	neither
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Chocolate unless there's french Vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Cappuccino
Do you Smoke:	no
Do you Swear:	unfortunately
Do you Sing:	lol sometimes
Do you Shower Daily:	sometimes twice a day if I need it even!
Have you Been in Love:	yes
Do you want to go to College:	I did...and I plan on going back..I must be crazy
Do you want to get Married:	umm...been there, done that, got the t-shirt...but maybe again one day who knows
Do you belive in yourself:	Sometimes,
Do you get Motion Sickness:	YES
Do you think you are Attractive:	depends on the day and my mood
Are you a Health Freak:	no
Do you get along with your Parents:	lol..that's funny
Do you like Thunderstorms:	yes
Do you play an Instrument:	unless my cell phone counts then no
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	actually no
In the past month have you Smoked:	NO
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	only birth control.....
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	yes
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	not a whole box but a few out of a box yes
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	yes...California roll for lunch on Thursday
In the past month have you been on Stage:	no
In the past month have you been Dumped:	no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	no
Ever been Drunk:	yes
Ever been called a Tease:	yes
Ever been Beaten up:	no
Ever Shoplifted:	no
How do you want to Die:	having sex or in my sleep
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	an adult? LOL A teacher maybe
What country would you most like to Visit:	Ireland
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:	Blue
Favourite Hair Color:	Brown
Short or Long Hair:	SHORT
Height:	taller then me
Weight:	no comment i'm not really picky just not too skinny
Best Clothing Style:	comfortable!
Number of Drugs I have taken:	none
Number of CDs I own:	a lot
Number of Piercings:	ears maybe...
Number of Tattoos:	a few discreet
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	2

New Apartment

OK so Tuesday I got the key's to my new apartment...Isnt that Kool!!!

So I got some stuff moved in and I was all Gung HO about spending the night there.....I was there for an hour and a half all alone..and I started Crying..I was scared :( Gawsh I'm an idiot.... So I called my sister crying about how I dont like being alone (yes i'm a wuss thank you to that person that so nicely pointed that out). So I drove back to my sisters house and walked into see my sister and her fiancee holding down my cat and both of them freaking out as the cat had a bad infection seeping out of his right "shoulder." So I Rushed him off to the emergency vet...I was there until two thirty in the morning. So I get my baby boy home...with a bunch of antibiotics and cuddle with him a little bit and fall dead asleep...Only to be awakened by my sister at five am.... So I got up..Gave the kitten his antibiotics again and then got ready for work. I went to work looking like a psycho lol...not enough sleep will do that to me..

So Harley is doing a lot better but still limping really bad....

Back to the apartment.....

Last night I went back and made it a lot more comfy....And was so tired from the night before that I fell asleep the minute my head hit the pillow. Then thanks to a friend...I was more comfortable staying there.... so in all...life is getting good...and I had my first visitor last night so I kinda felt kool lol...Finally my own place with no one to answer too......



C.

Interesting Quiz...

2x2 Questions*

2 names you go by:
1. The one my mom gave me (Catherine).
2. Auntie Cathy.

2 parts of your heritage:
1. German.
2. Irish.

2 of your everyday essentials:
1. Bottled Water.
2. Computer/Internet.

2 things you are wearing right now:
1. Tank Top.
2. Pajama Bottoms.

2 of your favorite bands or musical artists (at the moment):
1. Reba McEntire.
2. Nickleback.

2 of your favorite songs (at the moment):
1. Pictures (nickleback).
2. She Let Herself Go by George Straight.

2 things you want in a relationship (other than love):
1. Ambition.
2. Sense of Adventure (I found neither in my ex).

2 truths:
1. My friends mean everything to me.
2. I love to cuddle.

2 physical things that appeal to you (for your partner):
1. eyes.
2. back side.

2 of your favorite hobbies:
1. Internet.
2. Reading.

2 things you want really badly:
1. Love.
2. Kids (when I get the above item).

2 places you want to go on vacation:
1. Maine.
2. Ireland.

2 things everyone should do:
1. Give Respect.
2. Take Responsability for their actions in life no matter what has happened to you.

2 things you are thinking about now:
1. How hard it is to think of anything creative to put in these damn things (that's why I hate them).
2. Why men dont know what they want in life

2 stores you shop at:
1. Wal Mart (I know i'm one of "those" people).
2. Pets Mart/Petco.

Most embarrassing moments:
1. Telling a friend I loved him...Cause he called me at two am and was asking me a question and by force of habit when I got off the phone (was still pretty much asleep) I told him I loved him!!! And I had a crush on him at the time...
2. Puking in auto class when I was a Junior in high school.

What POOH Character are you?

Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!

Nine More days..........

OK everyone...Nine more days till I get to start moving. I'm excited..but still in the...what happens if I dont make it on my own phase...and that phase really sucks!! But alas...My new job provides more money than i've made before so it should all be good :)

I'm looking forward to not having to sneak into the hous elate after a date without waking up my sister and getting the third degree. I'm also looking forward to being able to sleep in without my niece coming into my bedroom going.............i'm hungry....can you make me ---------------(fill in the blank)........But i'm sure as hell going to miss that too lol....
but as life goes on...it will be better :)

Catherine

Twelve more days...........

ok twelve more days till i'm outta here. Some how my sister and brother in law will miraculously be on vacation the weekend I move..>Damn!!! What good are they too me if they arent here LOL>..alas. hopefully my friends will all come thru for me. But we shall wait and see...

Catherine

She Let Herself Go.

OK so i've done a lot of thinking lately....Compliments of my one year anniversary showing up in a week.....I ran across this song the other day....I cried as it reminds me of myself. I've done so many things in the last two years that I never thought I would do. I moved 1500 miles back to live near family. I've started wearing makeup more often. I actually have friends. I didnt go curl up into a ball and die as I first thought I would. I'm a better person I hope and a happier person. Yes I miss the old days...but I now look forward to the future............

Artist/Band: Strait George
Lyrics for Song: She Let Herself Go
Lyrics for Album: Somewhere Down in Texas

He wondered how she'd take it when he said goodbye.
Thought she might do some cryin': lose some sleep at night.
But he had no idea, when he hit the road,
That without him in her life, she'd let herself go.

Let herself go on a singles cruise,
To Vegas once, then to Honolulu.
Let herself go to New York City:
A week at the Spa; came back knocked-out pretty.
When he said he didn't love her no more,
She let herself go.

She poured her heart an' soul into their three-bedroom ranch.
Spent her days raisin' babies, ironin' his pants.
Came home one day from the grocery store and found his note,
And without him there to stop her, she let herself go.

Let herself go on her first blind-date:
Had the time of her life with some friends at the lake.
Let herself go, buy a brand new car,
Drove down to the beach he always said was too far.
Sand sure felt good between her toes:

She let herself go on a singles cruise,
To Vegas once, then to Honolulu.
Let herself go to New York City:
A week at the Spa; came back knocked-out pretty.
When he said he didn't love her no more,
She let herself go.

To Vegas once: Honolulu, New York City.
Came back knocked-out pretty.

Tag....

1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at? Hair--gotta judge how bad the train wreck is. :-)

2. How much money do you have on you? Five bucks I think..

3. What's the first word that comes to mind that rhymes with "TEST?" Rest.

4. Favorite plant? Um...I'm not so much into the greenery. I like flowers. But usually wild flowers...

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? My bestest friend in the whole wide world....LYNDER :)


6. What is your main ring tone on your phone? Amazing Grace

7. What shirt are you wearing? Green Dress Shirt (just got home from orientation from my new job)

8. Do you "label" yourself? I suppose--though (unfortunately) probably not as much as I label others.

9. The brand of shoes you're currently wearing? None however about twenty minutes ago when I walked in the door I had on New Balance

10. Bright or Dark Room? Dark--no overhead lighting, and only one lamp. I should probably buy another one--my eyes are bad enough as it is.

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? Umm...Interesting person...dont know i'd want to be her...;)

12. Ever "spilled the beans?" Yup. More than I'd like to admit.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? My niece puked everywhere about ten minutes before...SO I was cleaning up puke cause my brother in law was gagging...and my twin was gagging..and well..so was I but I just cleaned it up like a Good Auntie and let my niece sleep in my bed...

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say? Linda wrote me yesterday and it says Home? Work? she wanted to know where I was so she could call me :)

15. Do you ever click on "Pop Ups?" I avoid them like the plague.

16. What's a saying that you say a lot? "That's F***** Up"

17. Who told you they loved you last? My twin...Cause I took her coffee to her work...I think the people she works with thinks' she's spoiled by me...cause the last two days i've been to her work three times taking her food or starbucks:-)

18. Last person you hooked up with? Oh, I don't kiss and tell...but he's a cutie!

19. Last furry thing you touched? My precious doggie, Sadie.

20. How many drugs have you done in the past 3 days? Prescription........Two ....otherwise...none

21. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? I only have a digital camera :) So it dont matter.

22. Favorite age you have been so far? 25.........it's been an interesting year...Single for the first time, dating, moved,

23. Your worst enemy? The gym.

24. What is your current desktop picture? At home, Sadie..........At work...........My twin, niece and I together.

25. What was the last thing you said to someone? That's what you get for letting my twin sister buy something like that............(Said to my brother in law who was complaining about some halloween decor she bought)

26. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret? Show me the money...regret don't pay the bills.

27. Are you in love with someone? Still workin' on that one...to be continued.

Falling in Love

So.....What's this thing called love anyways? After being divorced for almost a year and seperated for almost two, i'm wondering if it's even worth it. I fell in love for ten years. And where has that gotten me?..............Sitting in a chair in my sisters office blogging online...GREAT!! :(

Ahh well life is looking up. If only I could figure out what J*** wants from me. But we shall wait and see I guess.


I've been talking a lot to my mother but havent gotten to go visit her a lot. With my new job and everything though things will get easier. Once i'm firmly situated in my new apartment we can spend more time together. Right now were thirty five miles away from eachother. But i'm truly not holding my breath anymore.

After almost twenty six years i'm actually moving into an apartment all by myself...Kinda scary... I definately need to start my life anew...so with the new job and new apartment...and i've been loosing weight...life should be good :)

Cathy

Good News for me Today!!!

OK so i know everyone wants to know LOL

So i've been biaching about not liking my job off and on for the last few months. I have been to three interview's for USAA...and guess what..........I'm starting a new job on Oct 24th.........

Other good news...I've been living w/ my twin....and today I leased an apartment :) it's a one bedroom/one bath 640 sq feet. I am so excited....

things are looking up for me...

((HUGS))Catherine

Blogggggggggg

1. How old were you when you found out Santa was not a jolly man, but your Mom and Dad? I was really young. and I didnt really care...probably around five. I think really I always knew...

2. Who was the first celebrity's poster you had hanging on your wall? I'm sad to say that it was probably the New Kids on the Block.

3. How many times have you heard the phrase, "Please step out of the car Ma' am/Sir." Actually, never....

4. What is the lamest reason for breaking up with someone you have ever given or received?
I dont love you anymore and I havent for a while.

5. What is the dumbest lie you ever told your parents to get out of something? I seldom lied to my parents. What's the point.

6. Paper or Plastic? Plastic--so I can use them as trash bags when I forget to go to the store.

7. What did you want to be when you grew up when you were little (under 10)? A lawyer...

8. What do you want to be when you grow up now? In my fantasy world, I'd like to be a stay at home mom.

9. What kind and color of underwear do you have on right now? Pink and yellow ones.

10. What CD are you ashamed to admit you own and listen to? Dont really have any...

11. Who would you sleep with if you had the opportunity to? Oooh, tough question. I dont really have anyone in particular

12. Finish this sentence and say what movie this is from. The FBI is going to pay me to ______? I have no idea on either count.

13. Are you a lame asshole who lied on the above question? No, I'm a lame asshole who doesn't know the quotation.

14. Why did you come to the blog that tagged you? Because I love my friend that tagged me.

15. What is your biggest fear? Being alone for the rest of my life.

16. Do watch a lot of reality television? Not really. I like Survivor sometimes.
17. Have you ever slept with someone and wondered why the hell you did that? Um, yeah. Who hasn't?

18. What is your biggest regret? I don't believe in regret--every decision, good or bad, makes you who you are.

19. How old where you and what happened the first time you got drunk? I was 23...new years eve we went out cause my friend wanted me to be happy!! I got drunk....she drove me home and I puked the next morning.

20. Which would you rather be, the hammer or the nail? Just like Simon & Garfunkel, "I'd rather be a hammer than a nail..."

21. What is your favorite curse word? Definitely the F-bomb.

22. If there was one thing you could ask your parents, but never had the guts, what would that be? I can pretty much ask my parents anything--the few things I don't know, I don't want to know.

23. What are 3 things that make you go Hmmm? Long division, fashion "don't"s, and hypocrisy.24. Real of fake boobies? Mine? Real.

Hello....

I got home today and my grandparents were home. It's been since June and the goodbyes at the cemetery since i've seen them. Not much has changed. I miss them a lot and wish they lived closer. I cant move to California however. So we did discuss them moving out here. That would be interesting. I love them and would love for them to live closer. However since my uncle's suicide back in June my grandmother has definately become neurotic. I wonder sometimes if shes going to end up like my great grandmother w/ alzheimers. I pray that she doesnt. But I wonder as I know it can be passed down.

My grandfather is as quiet as ever. Barely says' a word unless spoken too. He does however stand up for the underdog and he is heard when he has something to say. Gawsh I love that man!! HE means the world to me. I pray every day that he will be in my life another day. So far so Good (Thank you Lord!)

We went to Macayo's and had dinner. Offered to pay but I dont think my grandparents have ever let anyone pay.

Thanks !

It's ten fifty at night and I have to work tomorrow. Should I be asleep...Probably....do I care...not really. I want so bad to get the hell out of that job. I pray that I get the new job w/ USAA. It's all sounded very promising but i've not heard anything. I think I want to cry. However I know that it's taken a very long time for a lot of things to finalize w/ them so I'm assuming this is just another hurry up and wait thing with them.

To all my friends back in Missouri...DAMN I miss you!!!! I wish I was able to get back there but unfortunately, due to those things called BILLS....I cant come just yet...but i'm working on it I promise!!

((HUGS)) to all,

Catherine

Lessons Learned....

OK so I went to see my mother yesterday we have never gotten a long since I was a child. I don't know why. I know i've been angry at her for years. I never got to have that perfect child hood that every child deserves. I am angry for the way she treated us as we grew up. The only thing I ever wanted was a mother. Instead I got the friend. However friend isnt even the word. The one time I really needed her she hurt me more then anything. No child should ever be blamed for something that is not their fault. No faults should ever be thrown back in their face. But she did. I dont think she even cares anymore. Or even know's why we are not the happy-carefree mother/daughter we were so long ago.

She has a great relationship with my sister. I think that's because my sister can give her grand children. I cant. I wont. I want to be in love with someone and married before I decide to have children. I went to see her and she acts as though i'm not there. She talks about pretty much anything but my life. I try to get into a conversation. Try to get support but all I hear is about my grandparents, or my sister, or my brother or money or what she's doing where she's at. But never does she has no desire to know any pain i've had in my life. She's never coped with anything. Never been supportive of me. Never has she wanted to be. Is it so bad that I want my mother to tell me everything will be ok even if it wont be? The I told you So's and the rubbing of things in my face still hurt but she doesnt care. I'm 26 years old almost and I feel like my mother is more of a sister. My mom said last year I borrowed money from her. I dont remember any of that. I remember borrowing money from my grandfather and my brother and never her but she insists. She must be smoking something because she owes my sister and I and my brother money...She must be going senile in her 43 years! Oh well I guess.

I'm gonna go....

Catherine

Out on the Lake today

ok so I went out on the lake today with a friend..... Saw a beautiful full rainbow...if I'd of been less occupied I would of snapped a picture of it.... So in all it was a nice day. Worked six hour's of Overtime today...two and a half yesterday and tomorrow...will be another two and a half...Yes i'm hoping for a REALLY nice Oct 15th paycheck.. Thats' what i'm using to hopefully move out of my sisters house!

Oh and Lake Pleaseant was very Pleseant and on a Tuesday afternoon...there's darn near no one there LOL but I think that has to do with people at school....my niece however was sufficiently TICKED when she found out I went out on the boat without her lol Now I can rub that in LOL and she hates it :)





Anyways...Please for everyone who know's me and my twin say a prayer for her as she's having problems with this pregnancy as well. We dont know what's going on but as in everything else in our lives...God's will, will be done...

My birthday's coming up.......damn that sucks...

OK so i'm up at ten fourty PM and I have nothing else better to do on a Friday night then to sit here and type in my blog. I'm chatting with some friends online but. Sheesh how pitiful am I :P. Anyways. Wanted to respond to an email I received today.

I am 25 almost 26. For the last three years my birthday has been HELL. my 23rd my best friend killed himself. my 24th my ex asked for a divorce and my 25th I received my divorce...........my 26th will be spent in court..........Is there ever going to be a good birthday for me?????I want a real birthday with cake and romance and feelings...NOT just sex and lust..but fun and love and .....damn i'm a romantic and a Christian so I dont sleep around..that destroys' all semblance of just going to get laid.

HURUFMPH ok it's past my bedtime. i'm going to get to bed..have to work OT tomorrow WHOO HOO Over twenty bucks an hour allllll day tomorrow...

Cathy

Racism in 2005!!!! Sheesh!

OK so it's not much longer...and I shall be moving in to my own place...Isnt that great. I will finally for the first time ever live in an apartment that's all mine. I'm not so sure how much i'll enjoy it though LOL...it's gonna possibly be lonely..>Wonder who my first visitor will be. I hoped for J** however....Now I dont know. i'm assuming that since he got back from his trip he's been busy with his new toys and therefore doesnt even care I exist. I swear men......amuze me.

So I went on a date the other night. Someone please tell me when it is ok for a man to make a rude racist comment on a first date!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This young and obviously well to do black man and his caucasian wife walk in together with their young child (obviously mixed) We are at a restraunt that is not HIGH end but high enough up there where I wouldnt be going myself cause i'm not into snooty places but apparently the guy wanted to impress me. Anyways so I am eating my shrimp ( Yes I ordered low priced on the menu i'm not a bitch) and this family walks in and is seated probably twenty feet from us. The guy goes "Dammit it's people that like fucking N*****s that is ruining the white blood of America" "You cant just breed people like that out of the white mans blood".......My jaw just dropped. Here I am sitting dressed up..hair done..makeup on...thinking it was going to be a good meal. I comment to the effect of it's life and it's a choice and I dont see a problem with it. It's not for me but my entire family is full of mexican, asian and i'm sure somewhere in there black. But this guy just starts going on and on how we have to preserve the white race and that since i'm blonde haired and blue eye'd I should understand.

I was aphalled. If this is what dating is going to be. I think i'll stick with Fuck Buddies and friends. I got up and left the restraunt. I couldnt just sit there and let him think I was alright with his attitude or I thought it was ok to be a bigoted PRICK!!!!. Someone please tell me when this became an acceptable attitude. I went home and ate spaghetti O's.....tasted better then the damn shrimp did after that jackass ruined my meal...............

Catherine

If I had a million dollars

OK so I have a hard time figuing out what to use as a title half the time. So what the hell...


I was driving home the other night...In lovely five o'clock traffic (which leaves whole helluva lot of time to think!). Anyways. I was driving home thinking about my life. My accomplishments, my family, and the people i've been with in life. There are so few people in my life that I could ever think back on and know that I wouldnt change a thing about our "relationship". Sounds silly I know. I did finally come to the realization that I am finally (thank GOD!) over my ex. LOL two years after we became seperated. I'm happier. Dont get me wrong I have my regrets. But I went on a date a few weeks ago (ok we had drinks I dont think that quite qualifies as a date I dunno...remember i'm knew to this) anyways we went out and talked and kissed and fooled around...and for the first time ever I didnt think of my ex once.....hea it's a step in the right direction!!

TTYL,

Catherine

If a man is talking where no woman can hear him...is he still wrong?

OK not much to say tonight. Kinda bored really I have a date tomorrow evening. I'm not so sure i'm enjoying this dating thing. What exactly are you supposed to talk about? UGH...Although with this new guy we've discussed all topics from Religion to Politics to Racism...So I dunno anymore.

I still wish I was dating R or J and yet neither of them contacted me after a few dates..Is it really that hard just to say i'm sorry no longer interested..good luck! HURUMPH...

oh well...i'm not in this dating scene to just get laid. I want something else...a friendship, an exclusivity really...but we shall see what continues to happen...

Cat

Looking for love in all the wrong places

So I wonder if I'm an idiot or just unlucky in love.

I met a guy. I enjoyed our first "date" as well as the second meeting and third too. But is it just me or do men have their own time table and only they are allowed to make the plans? It's like he has time for me when it's convienent for him only. He's not interested in me I guess for anything but that three letter word....let me give you a hint..it starts with an S and ends with an X.

I dont know what to think about the male population anymore. I want friendship and love and cuddling etc..But apparently from what i've been told i'm fuckable however not datable. I am fully aware that i'm overweight. I know i'm not attractive to all men. But I dont want just any man. I want a man who wants me for who I am not anyone else. I'm working on loosing weight. I wont be fat forever. So what when I do finally loose all the weight people wont date me because i'm skinny?

I'm not looking to change for someone unless it's a change for the better. After seven years of marriage I found myself. I dont necissarily love every aspect of my life. But I am who I am and that's all I can be. I dont want a replay of what happened two years ago. I'm over the divorce. and i've now moved on with my life. I can truthfully say i've had a few days where i've not thought of my ex at all...Good days are ahead..now if I could just find someone to share them with......

Girls just wanna have fun

I dont think it's entirely true that the only thing a man is out for is sex. However i'm beginning to think it's the majority of what they want. I want a man who can keep up with me in conversation as well as in bed. A man that knows what they want and is willing to tell me. I cant read minds. When someone asks what do I want to do, if I had a clue some days i'd tell ya! I thought men were the one's supposed to make plans. If I dont like the plans i'll let you know. When a man is asking me what i'm thinking about, be willing to listen to what I have to say and possibly give feedback dont go running off at the mouth over analyzing what i'm saying. Talk to me not my breasts. Dont think that just because i'm overweight that i'm desperate to get laid. If I have sex with you it's because I think your attractive (in some way), I think that we have met on some type of intellectual level and I think that you are a generally good person. If you decide were having sex dont make it about you remember me...i'm here with ya!. Sex is not just for your enjoyment. Me being with you is not because i'm lonely and need someone to be there with me. Sheesh. Give it up, if I wanted to feel alone emotionally i'd run away by myself

Catherine.

Men...

OK so if anyone would like to reply I'd appriciate it....

How is it that men seem to not know how to say "i'm not interested" so i've been seeing this guy or WAS seeing this guy. No big deal. After a while though when i'd call he would call back like every fifth call or not answer text messages etc...So i'm like OK i'm gonna catch a clue here..and I quit calling him and everything....but here's the deal..why can a man just say "i'm no longer interested i'm sorry" or something like that. Is it really that hard? I mean I give that concession if I date a man a few times and i'm not interested.....guess what.... I'M NICE AND I TELL THEM I'M NO LONGER INTERESTED!!!!!!!!!!!!! argh!!! is it that hard!!!!!!!!

I swear I want to give up...but like i've always said

" Men....Can't live with em....and Sex is no fun without them......"

Discovery Health :: Dr Drew :: Warning

Discovery Health :: Dr Drew :: Warning

So this is one of my all time favorite people to listen too LOL :)

Catherine......