Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Time Keeps moving on

Over the last few weeks and months have changed....a lot of things have changed.

Back in October I lost my grandfather.  He was 90 years old...  I missed seeing him and saying goodbye by hours.  I miss him so much and my heart still hurts for missing him.  He was my rock.  The entire family's rock and now that he is gone.  I am struggling to continue on.

My sister and I are no longer speaking and I miss her so much. But at the same time. I am just done being the one to keep trying.  My life has been much quieter lately...and that's ok.  But I miss my niece and nephew.  I miss sitting and chatting and cudding with them.  I hate it.
But at the same time I have my life to myself.  My husband and I are trying out marriage counseling.  I want to succeed in life. I do not want to fight anymore.  I pray and hope and one day hopefully we will be able to get a long.
Sarah asked me today..Mommy who do I have to live with if you and daddy do not stay together.   I didn't realize she was that scared of us splitting up. I did let her know that no matter what...She would be with Daddy and Mommy.  And as of right now we will be together.  We will keep evaluating what we want and what is best for Sarah.

Since Ashley is 17 and will likely be moving out after she graduates next year.  Jeffery is 18 and already moved out...  I am not really worried about them right now.  Dennis and I splitting up is going to affect Sarah most of all.  And it scares me.  Her health is the most important thing in the world.

We are just trying to continue life...