Saturday, October 29, 2005

Interesting Quiz...

2x2 Questions*

2 names you go by:
1. The one my mom gave me (Catherine).
2. Auntie Cathy.

2 parts of your heritage:
1. German.
2. Irish.

2 of your everyday essentials:
1. Bottled Water.
2. Computer/Internet.

2 things you are wearing right now:
1. Tank Top.
2. Pajama Bottoms.

2 of your favorite bands or musical artists (at the moment):
1. Reba McEntire.
2. Nickleback.

2 of your favorite songs (at the moment):
1. Pictures (nickleback).
2. She Let Herself Go by George Straight.

2 things you want in a relationship (other than love):
1. Ambition.
2. Sense of Adventure (I found neither in my ex).

2 truths:
1. My friends mean everything to me.
2. I love to cuddle.

2 physical things that appeal to you (for your partner):
1. eyes.
2. back side.

2 of your favorite hobbies:
1. Internet.
2. Reading.

2 things you want really badly:
1. Love.
2. Kids (when I get the above item).

2 places you want to go on vacation:
1. Maine.
2. Ireland.

2 things everyone should do:
1. Give Respect.
2. Take Responsability for their actions in life no matter what has happened to you.

2 things you are thinking about now:
1. How hard it is to think of anything creative to put in these damn things (that's why I hate them).
2. Why men dont know what they want in life

2 stores you shop at:
1. Wal Mart (I know i'm one of "those" people).
2. Pets Mart/Petco.

Most embarrassing moments:
1. Telling a friend I loved him...Cause he called me at two am and was asking me a question and by force of habit when I got off the phone (was still pretty much asleep) I told him I loved him!!! And I had a crush on him at the time...
2. Puking in auto class when I was a Junior in high school.

What POOH Character are you?

Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Nine More days..........

OK everyone...Nine more days till I get to start moving. I'm excited..but still in the...what happens if I dont make it on my own phase...and that phase really sucks!! But alas...My new job provides more money than i've made before so it should all be good :)

I'm looking forward to not having to sneak into the hous elate after a date without waking up my sister and getting the third degree. I'm also looking forward to being able to sleep in without my niece coming into my bedroom going.............i'm hungry....can you make me ---------------(fill in the blank)........But i'm sure as hell going to miss that too lol....
but as life goes will be better :)


Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Twelve more days...........

ok twelve more days till i'm outta here. Some how my sister and brother in law will miraculously be on vacation the weekend I move..>Damn!!! What good are they too me if they arent here LOL>..alas. hopefully my friends will all come thru for me. But we shall wait and see...


Tuesday, October 18, 2005

She Let Herself Go.

OK so i've done a lot of thinking lately....Compliments of my one year anniversary showing up in a week.....I ran across this song the other day....I cried as it reminds me of myself. I've done so many things in the last two years that I never thought I would do. I moved 1500 miles back to live near family. I've started wearing makeup more often. I actually have friends. I didnt go curl up into a ball and die as I first thought I would. I'm a better person I hope and a happier person. Yes I miss the old days...but I now look forward to the future............

Artist/Band: Strait George
Lyrics for Song: She Let Herself Go
Lyrics for Album: Somewhere Down in Texas

He wondered how she'd take it when he said goodbye.
Thought she might do some cryin': lose some sleep at night.
But he had no idea, when he hit the road,
That without him in her life, she'd let herself go.

Let herself go on a singles cruise,
To Vegas once, then to Honolulu.
Let herself go to New York City:
A week at the Spa; came back knocked-out pretty.
When he said he didn't love her no more,
She let herself go.

She poured her heart an' soul into their three-bedroom ranch.
Spent her days raisin' babies, ironin' his pants.
Came home one day from the grocery store and found his note,
And without him there to stop her, she let herself go.

Let herself go on her first blind-date:
Had the time of her life with some friends at the lake.
Let herself go, buy a brand new car,
Drove down to the beach he always said was too far.
Sand sure felt good between her toes:

She let herself go on a singles cruise,
To Vegas once, then to Honolulu.
Let herself go to New York City:
A week at the Spa; came back knocked-out pretty.
When he said he didn't love her no more,
She let herself go.

To Vegas once: Honolulu, New York City.
Came back knocked-out pretty.

Monday, October 17, 2005


1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at? Hair--gotta judge how bad the train wreck is. :-)

2. How much money do you have on you? Five bucks I think..

3. What's the first word that comes to mind that rhymes with "TEST?" Rest.

4. Favorite plant? Um...I'm not so much into the greenery. I like flowers. But usually wild flowers...

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? My bestest friend in the whole wide world....LYNDER :)

6. What is your main ring tone on your phone? Amazing Grace

7. What shirt are you wearing? Green Dress Shirt (just got home from orientation from my new job)

8. Do you "label" yourself? I suppose--though (unfortunately) probably not as much as I label others.

9. The brand of shoes you're currently wearing? None however about twenty minutes ago when I walked in the door I had on New Balance

10. Bright or Dark Room? Dark--no overhead lighting, and only one lamp. I should probably buy another one--my eyes are bad enough as it is.

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? Umm...Interesting person...dont know i'd want to be her...;)

12. Ever "spilled the beans?" Yup. More than I'd like to admit.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? My niece puked everywhere about ten minutes before...SO I was cleaning up puke cause my brother in law was gagging...and my twin was gagging..and was I but I just cleaned it up like a Good Auntie and let my niece sleep in my bed...

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say?
Linda wrote me yesterday and it says Home? Work? she wanted to know where I was so she could call me :)

15. Do you ever click on "Pop Ups?" I avoid them like the plague.

16. What's a saying that you say a lot?
"That's F***** Up"

17. Who told you they loved you last? My twin...Cause I took her coffee to her work...I think the people she works with thinks' she's spoiled by me...cause the last two days i've been to her work three times taking her food or starbucks:-)

18. Last person you hooked up with? Oh, I don't kiss and tell...but he's a cutie!

19. Last furry thing you touched? My precious doggie, Sadie.

20. How many drugs have you done in the past 3 days? Prescription........Two ....otherwise...none

21. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? I only have a digital camera :) So it dont matter.

22. Favorite age you have been so far?'s been an interesting year...Single for the first time, dating, moved,

23. Your worst enemy? The gym.

24. What is your current desktop picture?
At home, Sadie..........At work...........My twin, niece and I together.

25. What was the last thing you said to someone?
That's what you get for letting my twin sister buy something like that............(Said to my brother in law who was complaining about some halloween decor she bought)

26. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret?
Show me the money...regret don't pay the bills.

27. Are you in love with someone? Still workin' on that be continued.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Falling in Love

So.....What's this thing called love anyways? After being divorced for almost a year and seperated for almost two, i'm wondering if it's even worth it. I fell in love for ten years. And where has that gotten me?..............Sitting in a chair in my sisters office blogging online...GREAT!! :(

Ahh well life is looking up. If only I could figure out what J*** wants from me. But we shall wait and see I guess.

I've been talking a lot to my mother but havent gotten to go visit her a lot. With my new job and everything though things will get easier. Once i'm firmly situated in my new apartment we can spend more time together. Right now were thirty five miles away from eachother. But i'm truly not holding my breath anymore.

After almost twenty six years i'm actually moving into an apartment all by myself...Kinda scary... I definately need to start my life with the new job and new apartment...and i've been loosing should be good :)


Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Good News for me Today!!!

OK so i know everyone wants to know LOL

So i've been biaching about not liking my job off and on for the last few months. I have been to three interview's for USAA...and guess what..........I'm starting a new job on Oct 24th.........

Other good news...I've been living w/ my twin....and today I leased an apartment :) it's a one bedroom/one bath 640 sq feet. I am so excited....

things are looking up for me...


Sunday, October 09, 2005


1. How old were you when you found out Santa was not a jolly man, but your Mom and Dad? I was really young. and I didnt really care...probably around five. I think really I always knew...

2. Who was the first celebrity's poster you had hanging on your wall? I'm sad to say that it was probably the New Kids on the Block.

3. How many times have you heard the phrase, "Please step out of the car Ma' am/Sir." Actually, never....

4. What is the lamest reason for breaking up with someone you have ever given or received?
I dont love you anymore and I havent for a while.

5. What is the dumbest lie you ever told your parents to get out of something? I seldom lied to my parents. What's the point.

6. Paper or Plastic? Plastic--so I can use them as trash bags when I forget to go to the store.

7. What did you want to be when you grew up when you were little (under 10)? A lawyer...

8. What do you want to be when you grow up now? In my fantasy world, I'd like to be a stay at home mom.

9. What kind and color of underwear do you have on right now? Pink and yellow ones.

10. What CD are you ashamed to admit you own and listen to? Dont really have any...

11. Who would you sleep with if you had the opportunity to? Oooh, tough question. I dont really have anyone in particular

12. Finish this sentence and say what movie this is from. The FBI is going to pay me to ______? I have no idea on either count.

13. Are you a lame asshole who lied on the above question? No, I'm a lame asshole who doesn't know the quotation.

14. Why did you come to the blog that tagged you? Because I love my friend that tagged me.

15. What is your biggest fear? Being alone for the rest of my life.

16. Do watch a lot of reality television? Not really. I like Survivor sometimes.
17. Have you ever slept with someone and wondered why the hell you did that? Um, yeah. Who hasn't?

18. What is your biggest regret? I don't believe in regret--every decision, good or bad, makes you who you are.

19. How old where you and what happened the first time you got drunk? I was years eve we went out cause my friend wanted me to be happy!! I got drunk....she drove me home and I puked the next morning.

20. Which would you rather be, the hammer or the nail? Just like Simon & Garfunkel, "I'd rather be a hammer than a nail..."

21. What is your favorite curse word? Definitely the F-bomb.

22. If there was one thing you could ask your parents, but never had the guts, what would that be? I can pretty much ask my parents anything--the few things I don't know, I don't want to know.

23. What are 3 things that make you go Hmmm? Long division, fashion "don't"s, and hypocrisy.24. Real of fake boobies? Mine? Real.

Friday, October 07, 2005


I got home today and my grandparents were home. It's been since June and the goodbyes at the cemetery since i've seen them. Not much has changed. I miss them a lot and wish they lived closer. I cant move to California however. So we did discuss them moving out here. That would be interesting. I love them and would love for them to live closer. However since my uncle's suicide back in June my grandmother has definately become neurotic. I wonder sometimes if shes going to end up like my great grandmother w/ alzheimers. I pray that she doesnt. But I wonder as I know it can be passed down.

My grandfather is as quiet as ever. Barely says' a word unless spoken too. He does however stand up for the underdog and he is heard when he has something to say. Gawsh I love that man!! HE means the world to me. I pray every day that he will be in my life another day. So far so Good (Thank you Lord!)

We went to Macayo's and had dinner. Offered to pay but I dont think my grandparents have ever let anyone pay.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Thanks !

It's ten fifty at night and I have to work tomorrow. Should I be I care...not really. I want so bad to get the hell out of that job. I pray that I get the new job w/ USAA. It's all sounded very promising but i've not heard anything. I think I want to cry. However I know that it's taken a very long time for a lot of things to finalize w/ them so I'm assuming this is just another hurry up and wait thing with them.

To all my friends back in Missouri...DAMN I miss you!!!! I wish I was able to get back there but unfortunately, due to those things called BILLS....I cant come just yet...but i'm working on it I promise!!

((HUGS)) to all,


Monday, October 03, 2005

Lessons Learned....

OK so I went to see my mother yesterday we have never gotten a long since I was a child. I don't know why. I know i've been angry at her for years. I never got to have that perfect child hood that every child deserves. I am angry for the way she treated us as we grew up. The only thing I ever wanted was a mother. Instead I got the friend. However friend isnt even the word. The one time I really needed her she hurt me more then anything. No child should ever be blamed for something that is not their fault. No faults should ever be thrown back in their face. But she did. I dont think she even cares anymore. Or even know's why we are not the happy-carefree mother/daughter we were so long ago.

She has a great relationship with my sister. I think that's because my sister can give her grand children. I cant. I wont. I want to be in love with someone and married before I decide to have children. I went to see her and she acts as though i'm not there. She talks about pretty much anything but my life. I try to get into a conversation. Try to get support but all I hear is about my grandparents, or my sister, or my brother or money or what she's doing where she's at. But never does she has no desire to know any pain i've had in my life. She's never coped with anything. Never been supportive of me. Never has she wanted to be. Is it so bad that I want my mother to tell me everything will be ok even if it wont be? The I told you So's and the rubbing of things in my face still hurt but she doesnt care. I'm 26 years old almost and I feel like my mother is more of a sister. My mom said last year I borrowed money from her. I dont remember any of that. I remember borrowing money from my grandfather and my brother and never her but she insists. She must be smoking something because she owes my sister and I and my brother money...She must be going senile in her 43 years! Oh well I guess.

I'm gonna go....