Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Long time no see

I have been so busy. Since the last time I posted I have seperated and now reuinted with my husband. I have worked catastrophe duty doing 18 hour days for two weeks and now we are busy as can be with Christmas and work and My baby girl and two step kiddos.
Life is good. I think the seperation really was one of the best things for us. It gave us insight as to what eachother really really wants. I believe we both learned a lot of things about what are important.

Life is good. It is Sarah's first Christmas and I am incredably excited. My little Sarah Beara is going to enjoy her first Christmas in California at her Grandpa Johnny's house and with her uncle Raymond and Aunt Lily and family.

Life is Good
God Is Great!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

I'm Angry

I don't even know how to go into this.
Last week on 10/13, I left my home of three years..drove to the courthouse downtown and filed for divorce. I just could not do it anymore. I couldn't take the anger the pain the constant disrespect. I just could no longer stand the arguments or the attitude. It wasn't just one person that caused my marriage to fail. I hold part of the pain myself. But honestly it was a few different people. I wanted so bad to make it work but I just could not any longer. I want my daughter to grow up happy and well adjusted. Three years ago I never ever ever thought I would end up being a single mother. I never thought it would end. No one ever goes into a marriage thinking..eh i'll give it a few months and if it doesnt work out...we can just go ahead and end it.

I want a happily ever after. Dennis and I are trying to work things out but honestly I need to start thinking more about what I want. Do I want to stay married? Do I want to give my daughter both a full time mother and a full time father?
I'm angry though. I'm angry all of a sudden he wants to be a father and I have to share. I'm angry that I am going to have to share with him. I'm angry that my baby is not just mine and because of my anger at him and my anger at the situation I'm not in the mood to play fair so that he get's to see her too. Who should have more custody me or him? I'm just so darn angry and so frustrated and honestly. I want someone to tell me it will all be ok. I'm not in the mood for the I told you so's or anything else like that.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

7 Months already

Dearest Sarh,
Today you turned 7 months old. I am amazed. You are the sweetest little princess. You are almost always happy and you love attention. Today we went to lunch with Aunt Liz and you giggled and laughed at the waitress but the second I walked away to go to the bathroom you cried. You know who I am and you hate whenI leave. You drive your daddy nuts with your crying...Maybe thats because I know exactly what you want almost every time you cry. He's clueless LOL. You are trying to hard to move around but would rather just roll wherever you want to be instead of trying to do that pesky crawling stuff. You love food. Today you had avacado for the first time. It was not a favorite however banana's, apples, and pea's all make you happy as well as a few of the mixed rice cereal/apples and things like that are your favorites as well. You will barely tolerate carrots and green beans..but eat them..just noth appily. You smile at everything you love your sister and brother.
You steal my heart, I love it. you always love to see me and when I get home from work the first thing I want to do is pick you up and hold you and snuggle with you. I love giving you a bath because you love to splash and laugh and play. I laugh every time I try to wash your hair when you start blowing bubbles in the water.
I'm sad that my baby girl is not the teeny tiny princess you were before, your becoming my little baby who will soon be my toddler..and before I know it you will be my teenager. Wow i'm scared!
I love you baby girl. Happy 7 month birthday

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Updates

So for the last six months my life has been a total change. I love it. Sarah has been great, she is teh most awesome little princess in the entire world. I could not imagine my life without her. She is on #2 foods and tonight gave me the scare of my life when she was eating a puff thingie and one got caught in her throat. I know that they dissolve with water but I still freaked the hell out and yanked her out of the high chair and swept the food out of her mouth instantly. she gagged and threw up a little bit but OMG I was like half a second away from calling 911~! My husband yelled at me for not watching her. Hell how much closer to her could I be since I was sitting right next to her. It just irritates me that I am the only one that ever pays any attention, i'm the only one that takes care of her 99% of the time and yet he has the audacity to tell me I wasn't watching her For Christs sakes i'm the only one that does. Grr..

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I owe you photos I know

My baby girl turned 6 months old two days ago. I can hardly believe it. She's attempting to crawl. She's sitting up for short periods of time. I am amazed every day by what she is doing. I cannot believe that this little tiny angel can take up so much of my time every day too! But without further ado...here are some photos.




Sunday, August 02, 2009

I'm such a horrible blogging Momma

I have been so busy. Let's start back to my last post.
In the end of June we decided to take a vacation before the Monsoon season hit and my work picked up so we spent 4th of July in Colorado Fishing/camping. It was fun but since Sarah is still so young I didn't get to do much of anything besides take photos and subsequently lose them because my SD card totally failed me. So I had to get a new one.
Once back in Arizona I have been working like a fiend. Sarah is growing so much. Between work and making sure her needs are taken care of I find myself with very little time. Since my husband leaves the majority of her care to me. I don't get the internet time and such. And since she's growing and no longer just a sleep/eat/poo type of baby LOL it's more work. But I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Tonight we went to Monster Truck Jam. The kids had a blast. Sarah even loved it.
I'll put up some photos soon :)
Gotta go though since it's ONE am...gawsh time never is on my side.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Sorry for the hiatus

I got back to work last month and with that dropped my allowable internet time. When I am home I am too busy smelling the sweet smell of my baby girl. A lot has gone on in the past few weeks. Last weeked my twin sister decided to tell the family. SHE'S PREGNANT. Which is great. When I was a kid I always knew my sister would have three children. (we are twins. I cant help but predict her future LOL) Most of the family members are hoping for a boy (we need more boys!) however my brother in law thinks it's twins. When we mention this to my sister she just freaks the heck out. Thinking she wouldn't be able to handle it. And my brother in law...the non church going one (although he believes in God he believes that church's are too commercialized and are too money hungry) anyways always reminds her that God will never give us more then we can handle. Funny how we all sometimes need this reminder.

And on to the other thing that has kept me busy. Dennis had surgery this past Wednesday. We still do not have the pathologist report. I honestly don't know if it's bad or good. The dr said the sample was quite large and the pathologist was taking extra time on it (is that a good sign? or a bad one?) So for those of you that Pray please pray good things. Anyways while he's home he has a catheter (the cyst was on his bladder and since they had to remove part of his bladder he cannot have any stretching of the bladder and thus he's on a catheter. which sucks because his wussy butt can't clean it out. So that falls on me...ARGH!!! However he is at least able to get up and down from bed and he's able to go out on to the couch and leave me alone in the bedroom LOL.
I'm off to lay down with Sarah again. She's taking her after noon nap :)

Catherine

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Pissed off

Today I was in the shower...and I look up and see HELP ME inscribed in the shower wall. WTF. I called my husband into the bathroom while I was still in the shower...
My husband went directly to my son who is notorious for doing stupid crap like that. So... My husband calls my son in it and what does he do..he lies. So he lies again. I call him on it and he lies.
So finally my husband explains that if he is lying, and we find out Ash did not do it (she's at church with some friends and thus we cannot question her) that he will get in trouble no atter what cause then we will know he is just continuing to lie to us. So finally after almost an hour my husband asks him again if he wants to continue in the lie or be honest. Finally the little fool is honest. But WTF...why lie if you did it? Why lie at all? And furthermore..>WTF!!! Why the heck did you do this? What reason did he have to write HELP ME on the darn wall (he inscribed it with a push pin he's 12 years old we should not have to take all sharp objects away from him!!)
Finally i'm done though. I"M done with the lying, with him deliberately destroying things. A couple of weeks ago we were leaving to go to vegas when we found out that he bit two kids at school. so he got punished and didnt get to go..but in all of that we found out that he cut the girls pants and jacket that she had on two days before. So he's just being a destructive SHIT HEAD. and i'm done with it. i'm so tired of trying to reason with a child that just doesnt give a flying F!!!
Honestly if anyone has any idea how to get him to stop lying and just friggin be honest~!~~~please let me know..

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Survey Says :)

1. First thing you wash in the shower? Hair
2. What color is your favorite hoodie? Don't have one..don't know what happened to all of them. I went to Ohio last year with two..came home with none..ODD...
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Of course..she's my baby girl.
4. Do you plan outfits? Gawsh no.
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? Tired.
6. What's the closest thing to you that's red? The new Elmo Onesie I got for Sarah today from Target...cause you know that's my favorite place of all times :)
7. What was the last dream you remember having? I don't dream much..
8. Did you meet anybody new today? Nope
9. What are you craving right now? Sleep
10. Do you floss? When I remember too.
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? YUCK
12. Are you emotional? yes
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000? Yes
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? depends..is it a cone or a cup? or what?
15. Do you like your hair? not at all. I need a haircut.
16. Do you like yourself? sometimes yes, sometimes no
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? Heck yeah I would! That would be awesome!
18. What are you listening to right now? NCIS
19. Are your parents strict? Nope.
20. Would you go sky diving? No reason to jump out of a perfectly good airplane.
21. Do you like cottage cheese? sometimes.
22. Have you ever met a celebrity? Yes,
23. Do you rent movies often? not very often..twice in the last year.but that was only cause the kids had a sleepover..and I discovered RED BOX..
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room in which you are? nope..
25. What countries have you visited? Mexico
26. Have you made a prank phone call? Of course! I was a pre teen once
27. Ever been on a train? Yeppers..Amtrak
28. Brown or white eggs? White.
29. Do you have a cell-phone? I have a work cell and a personal cell phone..
31. Do you use chapstick? I do..
32. Do you own a gun? a couple of them.
33. Can you use chopsticks? yeppers
34. Who are you going to be with tonight? My husband and kiddos.
35. Are you too forgiving? I've been known to be
36. Ever been in love? yup
37. What is your best friend doing tomorrow? I have no idea.
38. Ever have cream puffs? Yes
39. Last time you cried? this morning
40. What was the last question you asked? Did you brush your teeth
41. Favorite time of the year? Spring
42. Do you have any tattoos? No
43. Are you sarcastic? often
44. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? nope
45. Ever walked into a wall? I'm sure I have.
46. Favorite color? Blue
47. Have you ever slapped someone? Yes.
48. Is your hair curly? Not at all..
49. What was the last CD you bought? Umm Taylor Swift..(for the kids I swear!)
50. Do looks matter? Yes
51. Could you ever forgive a cheater? I don't think so.
52. Is your phone bill sky high? nope..my husband would kill me if I did that.
53. Do you like your life right now? I shall plead the fifth.
54. Do you sleep with the TV on? No...I sleep with a fan on though.
55. Can you handle the truth? I always prefer the truth.
56. Do you have good vision? Yes.
57. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? Hate..nah..too much effort to hate. dislike..yes
58. How often do you talk on the phone? Since my work requires it..i'm on the phone quite often.
59. The last person you held hands with? Umm probably Ryleigh last week
60. What are you wearing? sweat pants and a work t-shirt
61. What is your favorite animal? Dog
62. Where was your profile picture taken? Umm.. I believe in Vegas.
63. Can you hula hoop? not in the least
64. Do you have a job? I'm a mom, and a claims adjuster.
65. What was the most recent thing you bought? Gas
66. Have you ever crawled through a window? not because I wanted too

Monday, April 13, 2009

Compassion

Today I had to run some errands. off to Costco we went. One of my favorite places I tell ya :)
While I was in the store I had to run off to the bathroom and change Sarah.
While I was in the bathroom a young girl, her brother and her mother were in the bathroom. The young girl went potty on her own and washed her hands and stood patiently by. The young boy was/is afflicted with Downs Syndrome. He ran to the sink and washed his hands and got his paper towel and then he saw Sarah. his eye's lit up. He started saying something in spanish (I think) and he was also signing to his mom. At the same time he reached out to touch Sarah his mom quickly told him to not touch the baby and grabbed him away quickly. I told his mom that it was ok he could hold her hand. (hey he had washed his hands!) He then signed something to his mom and she said that he was saying Baby. and then Said SMALL Baby. Too darn cute. after a minute his sister who was patiently waiting nearby asked to please touch the baby. These kiddo's were between 5-8 years old. and so cute. The mom said thank you. I asked her "What for?" And it was then she advised me that so many people shy away from her son. Because he has Downs? how sad. This little polite boy wanted nothing but to touch the little baby. He was so Gentle and polite and caring about Sarah. And yet he had felt prejudice in his lifetime because someone was afraid of him? Afraid of what I have to wonder....This little kid was about four foot tall, probably fourty lb's maybe alittle more...and nothing but full of love..and yet...people dont like to talk to him. how incredably sad. How sad for a mother to tear up because a stranger show's some compassion. Some desire to allow a child to learn.
All I can do is pray that some day people obtain some compassion and caring towards everyone. Just sayin...

Sunday, April 12, 2009

I'm so not good at blogger so here are some photos in a not so fancy post






In no particular order..here are some photos of my baby girl :)

I don't wanna go back to work

I know I am totally lucky in the fact that I work from home 60% of the time and 40% of the time I am out and about in the city working. But I have to say I am not ready to go back to work full time. I want to stay home with my baby girl. I want to enjoy my time with her and cuddle her and enjoy being a mommy like I have for the last going on eight weeks. I miss her when I am away for even ten minutes let alone a ten hour day on the road for work. I know I don't have a choice. Unless I feel like getting a divorce (although quite often I do feel like getting divorced) and marry a rich guy... I am stuck. I have to provide insurance for my family, I have to provide financial stability. It sucks. I'm the mommy...I want to stay home with my baby. And yet that is NOT an option for me. and some days I really really hate my husband because of that. When we first met he worked at a good job making good money. And now..he's home..on disability..not caring and not taking good care of the family as he should. I mean literally he doesnt cook, doesnt clean, doesnt anything. And frankly I just want to be a mommy. I am scared to death of what will happen in June when I have to go to Ohio for four full days. And I will not be here to protect and nurture my daughter. I am scared that I will get called out for a catastrophe and have to be gone for four weeks. I love my job...but really...i'm not so sure it's worth me being away from my daughter that much. I have to figure something out though. Either that or I have to get over the fear of leaving my husband with my baby.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

I cannot believe it's been six weeks.




I know they say that kids grow up too fast. But umm..I'm not really ready for this. I want, no NEED my baby to stay small. I love how I can cuddle her and love on her for hours on end. She has great control over her head now, she smiles and OMG I think my heart melts every time I see that smile.
She hit another smile yesterday too...She actually laughed.. I mean smiled and laughed out loud. I could not believe it. I had to go for my six week check up and when I was checking out the girls wanted to see her so I took her out of her car seat and we were standing there and I was talking to her because she was talking/babbling to me and all of a sudden she started laughing. I was surprised. She actually laughed. It was sooo darn cute. Also she is also smiling when you play with one of her rattles. I don't know who bought it for us but it was a baby shower gift and it's a horse I guess you could say that is pink (breast cancer awareness) and rattles and if you pull on the hanging thing it vibrates and she get's a huge HUGE kick out of it. I just love it.
Here are some photos from yesterday and today...

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Breastfeeding is best...so but out!

OK I have to be honest. I do breastfeed my daughter. I love it and to me it's kind of a selfish act. To me it means one on one time I do not have to share with any other person. It means that my baby girl needs ME! and will continue to need me as long as I continue to feed her. I love her so darn much.
Lately though there have been some controversy about how far people are taking the breast feeding thing. Yes, it is my plan to continue breast feeding while I go to work. I also plan on breastfeeding/pumping once I go back to work in two weeks. In two weeks I will chug along with a breast pump and pump in some odd places. I don't have an office to go to each day. I may be home, I may be driving to odd places, I will be inspecting different odd places..but a few times a day I will plug in a breast pump into the aux port on my car and have a go. Because I do feel that breast milk is best. Breast milk is the cheapest option and...because I love my daughter and want what is best for her. I will inconvenience myself, and probably embarrass myself too. However I refuse to believe what people like this person : http://warner.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/04/02/why-i-dumped-the-pump/?em are saying. I may feel like a cow periodically however...I will always feel like a good mom for giving my baby girl what is best for her.
Oh and last week while in Vegas I was breast feeding my baby girl in public. OMG the horror, the Shame the complete lack of SHAME lol..Honestly I have a hooter hider (basically looks a apron that covers everything so honestly...you see hte baby's feet and that's about it But someone noticed I was breastfeeding...Whatever!! This jackass has the audacity to come up to me and tell me "There are bathrooms for that kind of thing..you shouldn't do that in public it's rude." My immediate reply was very rude and very hateful....I advised him "take your damn dinner into the bathroom and eat and see how great it tastes...just where in the damn bathroom should I sit while I feed her??? On the toilet??? Honestly get over yourself because your a jackass I should what??" He huffed his little attitude away and I continued what I was doing. What in the world was I doing wrong? I don't feel that I did ANYTHING wrong. if I was sitting there with a boob hanging out (which I have seen in public and I Do think is RUDE because I have no desire to see anyone's boob...even if just the areaola is not visible cause it's in the kids mouth) or I was sitting there making a scene..but I wasnt..and my baby deserves to be fed on demand...just like my older kids when they are hungry...only luckily I can just hand them pop tarts and peanut butter m&m's and they are happy (I am just kidding..i'm not thrilled with the kinds of sugars and fats are in those so I try to feed them healthy snacks..honestly)

Catherine.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Happy One Month Birthday Baby girl


OK i'm a day late posting this but I've been busy and working hard..it sucks..But..Oh well I guess. Here is her one month photo of my baby girl.
On Monday she was 21" long and 8lb's 1 3/4 oz.

Catherine

Monday, March 09, 2009

How is the economy affecting you?

My twin sister just found out last Thursday that she has lost her job. She was a manager at a book store and had been there for two years. They just came to her and said..Goodbye. What do you say to that? My sister is lucky though. She has a husband that owns his own business and he will be able to pay for the things the family needs. She will do fine with just her unemployment until she find another job.
This takes a toll on me too however. I used to stop by her work for lunch and we would enjoy a nice meal and now that's going to stop. We used to be able to go shopping (me normally window shopping her actually shopping) and that's going to stop. There is no more shopping going to happen.

I want my sister to be happy and she was not happy with the company she was working for. But it's still scary for her. and her family so for those out there that are able too. Please say a prayer that she is able to find a good job that is family friendly for her and her family.

Thanks,
Catherine

Sunday, March 08, 2009

A real post...

Wow,
Life has been quite different with a little seven pound baby requiring every second of my day to be regimented. She is so beautiful and so good. I am lucky that at night when I feed her she will go down for about four hours at a time. Unfortunately, she will wake up and want to fuss/be held, nurse for at least two hour's before going back down for three to four hours.

The kids love her and touch her and want to hold her and play with her. Unfortunately, there's not much anyone can do but me because I am breast feeding.

She is mine and she is beautiful.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Some more photos






I promise when I have more time i'll write. But uh....i'm kinda tired people!!!

Saturday, February 28, 2009

photos




A baby story

OK so the birth of Sarah Elizabeth Rene Pittman did not go exactly as planned. Here is the progression...as much as I can remember anyways...

Dennis and I arrived at the hospital at a little after 11pm for my induction. They had us go straight to Labor and Delivery. We were immediately walked into a room and asked to undress.. So on goes the hospital gown...and out went all modesty lol. Around midnight they put in my IV and started putting a bunch of bracelets on me.
A little after midnight I talk to my sister and tell her I will let her know when to come but since i'm only at a 3...there's no use in her coming to sit thru all of that and for her to go ahead, take a shower and go to sleep. Around 12:30 they put in the cervadil (cervex ripining gel) Everything was fine and dandy...until about half an hour later. When the pain began. Apparently not only does that stuff supposedly ripen your cervex, it makes the contractions start. I was in so much painby four AM that I could could not take it and asked for something to dull the pain. I don't remember the name of the drug...but it was good...and all I remember was asking if it was supposed to make me feel dizzy. I fell asleep so fast I don't remember her answer. I do however remember that the drug made me feel good and the pain went away and apparently made me slow down my breathing so they put me on oxygen at that point.
Sometime around six AM my sister came to the hospital and sat with me. I remember being dizzy and not real talkative. I know Dennis was joking around and I was not nice at all. Being in labor was not one of my greater points in life.

I don't remember what time the doctor came into break my water but I was only at a 3-4 cm at the time which was horrible after being in active labor for seven hours at the time. The doctor broke my water and OMG I was in so much pain I was crying I remember Dennis coming over and holding my hand and telling me I could squeeze his hand and he kissed me but it hurt so darn bad. It was miserable. While they were breaking my water they were also putting in the monitors for my contractions and the baby's heart rate.

Once the water was broke, I was begging for the epidural. They got Dr Black in and I was literally having contraction after contraction and felt like I was dying. Once the epi was placed however I was still feeling the pain. Supposedly because of the drugs I was on and the epidural, my blood pressure was quite low and they couldnt give me anything else. Honestly at that point I just wanted it over with!! LOL. But I wanted my baby. after laying in the bed and shifting onto my left and right side off and on, they huddled in the corner. I knew there was somthing wrong since the last two times I had moved to my right side, Sarah's heart rate plummeted below 100. That was a huge problem obviously... So...the nurse Lori rushed off and called the doctor. She came back within ten minutes..she had two pieces of paper in her hand. I knew right then and there...it was about to be over..and it was not going to be the way I wanted it to be.

Lori came in and told me what was going on and asked me to sign for blood products "just in case" and to sign that I agreed to the c-section. The odd thing is, they never said anything to my husband. Only me. Like it was only my choice... However I didn't even feel like I had a choice..this was how it was going to be.

The anethesiologist came back in and changed some of the medication I was on and it was much better pain wise. When I finally got fully prepped I gave my sister a kiss goodbye and they walked my husband and rolled me back to the ER. The doctor said hello to me and told me he would take care of me. At this point I could not feel my legs and there was no way for me to even attempt moving from the gurney onto the operating table. They moved me and got me strapped down and at they checked how numb I was.. From about my boob's down.I was not feeling a darn thing.

Once the dr got in to the room, they had prepped me and they brought in my husband. He sat there holding my hand that had the IV in it and all we could do at that point was pray. Although I do believe I was crying too. It didnt feel like it took very long however Dennis said it took about half an hour before the baby was out. Then they said he could go over and check her out. We heard her cry and that was the best feeling in the entire world. Just hearing her was a huge weight off my chest.

They let Dennis go to the recovery room with Sarah while they kept me in the OR to put in a drain and a few other things.
When I finally got to the recovery room I was able to hold her again and they encouraged me to breast feed her too. I dozed off and on cause of the pain meds. Dennis said that everyone was was going to go get something to eat as no one had eaten since early that morning. Unfortunately, I had not eaten since 10pm the night before!!! OH the pain in the butt LOL I could not eat until after 11pm the day I delivered.


OK So my baby girl is now here. I'm so happy and I love her and she's perfect........

Friday, February 27, 2009

A baby story

OK so the birth of Sarah Elizabeth Rene Pittman did not go exactly as planned. Here is the progression...as much as I can remember anyways...

Dennis and I arrived at the hospital at a little after 11pm for my induction. They had us go straight to Labor and Delivery. We were immediately walked into a room and asked to undress.. So on goes the hospital gown...and out went all modesty lol. Around midnight they put in my IV and started putting a bunch of bracelets on me.
A little after midnight I talk to my sister and tell her I will let her know when to come but since i'm only at a 3...there's no use in her coming to sit thru all of that and for her to go ahead, take a shower and go to sleep. Around 12:30 they put in the cervadil (cervex ripining gel) Everything was fine and dandy...until about half an hour later. When the pain began. Apparently not only does that stuff supposedly ripen your cervex, it makes the contractions start. I was in so much painby four AM that I could could not take it and asked for something to dull the pain. I don't remember the name of the drug...but it was good...and all I remember was asking if it was supposed to make me feel dizzy. I fell asleep so fast I don't remember her answer. I do however remember that the drug made me feel good and the pain went away and apparently made me slow down my breathing so they put me on oxygen at that point.
Sometime around six AM my sister came to the hospital and sat with me. I remember being dizzy and not real talkative. I know Dennis was joking around and I was not nice at all. Being in labor was not one of my greater points in life.

I don't remember what time the doctor came into break my water but I was only at a 3-4 cm at the time which was horrible after being in active labor for seven hours at the time. The doctor broke my water and OMG I was in so much pain I was crying I remember Dennis coming over and holding my hand and telling me I could squeeze his hand and he kissed me but it hurt so darn bad. It was miserable. While they were breaking my water they were also putting in the monitors for my contractions and the baby's heart rate.

Once the water was broke, I was begging for the epidural. They got Dr Black in and I was literally having contraction after contraction and felt like I was dying. Once the epi was placed however I was still feeling the pain. Supposedly because of the drugs I was on and the epidural, my blood pressure was quite low and they couldnt give me anything else. Honestly at that point I just wanted it over with!! LOL. But I wanted my baby. after laying in the bed and shifting onto my left and right side off and on, they huddled in the corner. I knew there was somthing wrong since the last two times I had moved to my right side, Sarah's heart rate plummeted below 100. That was a huge problem obviously... So...the nurse Lori rushed off and called the doctor. She came back within ten minutes..she had two pieces of paper in her hand. I knew right then and there...it was about to be over..and it was not going to be the way I wanted it to be.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Kinda Ticked

For the the last six months or so we have had a few issues going on. Granted i know the kids are pre-teens and there are going to be issues. I am sitting here fuming. I am sick and tired of having to tell the kids over and over again what they need to do every single day. I have to tell them to shower, do your chores, stop fighting with your sister, stop picking on your brother, pick up your socks, do your homework, Why did you scribble on your homework instead of do your homework? etc etc.

Jeffery has taken to being a complete liar no matter what it is.. Something stupid, something totally wrong etc. It's so darn frustrating. He has one chore which is to clean the bathroom sink. I know he didn't do it, I can see the toothpaste in it from earlier in the morning..so I ask him if he washed the sink...Uhh Yeah. OK a seocnd Chance..Jeffery..do you want to check and make sure that you cleaned the sink PROPERLY...I DID IT CATHY!!! (said in the most irritating voice possible) I walk in there...ask him..uhh Jeffery..why if you cleaned the sink is there toothpaste in the sink (he's the culprit by the way that LEAVES it in the sink which is a huge pet peeve and why he has sink duty anyways!) His response is always...I don't know I cleaned it!! in a nice whine. His other chore is to dump the trashes throughout the house. Every single day I have to go down the list..Did you dump the trash in the kitchen...bedroom...your bedroom...living room...porch(the back porch is where the washer/dryer is and the trash can NEVER get's dumped for some reason) eighty percent of the time he has only dumped one of the trash cans...never ALL of them... I don't get it..the chores are not that hard. All told it would take me about five to ten minutes to do ALL of his chores..but the way they do their chores it takes them an hour or so... GRR.. His third chore is to crush cans.. The kids are the one that benefit from this chore. They crush the cans, put them into the trash can... and every few months we take them to be recycled and the kids get the money from it. But honestly..he goes and HIDES teh darn cans. WHY bother hiding them it takes mroe of an effort to hide them then step on them!! GRR.

But Ashley is the same way, she sweeps stuff underneath the kitchen table so she doesnt have to clean it up. She leaves all the dishes for everyone else to clean up herself even though it's her chore to load the dishwasher. Rather then actually emptying the dishwasher she piles dirty on top of clean dishes.

How in the world do I get these kids to take responsability???
Then again..Since Dennis doesnt get onto them to do their chores or anything, that's probably why I have to yell scream and throw a tantrum in order for them to do anything and even then unless i'm standing on top of them, they do it half assed.

I'm so frustrated..i'm about due to give birth and so ANGRY and frustrated and tired and just plain PISSED off about having to be the only person in this house that parents. and when I attempt to parent...I get called a bitch...

I need a drink.
I need my baby to be here.
I need a vacation with just me and my baby.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

So Close I can almost TASTE it!

Today marks week number 39. I am officially full term and exhausted. Since I had a sinus infection and ear infection last week I have been miserable. Literally I cannot sleep, I cannot breath, I cough and just about wet myself every time. I am miserable. My belly is just totally bulging. I am miserable I cannot sleep without getting up forty times a night.

So tomorrow morning the dr's office will call and let me know when I get to go in for the induction.

I need this....

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Not much longer


Pregnancy Tickers

How much longer??

I am almost 39 weeks. I am officially HUGE but still so happy to be pregnant. I am excited she is moving so much. I wonder if her moving so much is indicative of her wanting to get the heck out. Literally she has not moved this much EVER until recently. I have had a bad headache for the last day or two because of my sinus'. Both kids are sick I swear I cant' catch a break. Valentines day sucked..no one even gave me a darn piece of chocolate...go figure..I'm used to it though. cause well..unless I specifically ask for something or say I want something..it's usually not going to happen..

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Am I going to make it??? HUH HUH???

I wonder some days if I am going to make it thru pre-teen years with my Step daughter. she's 11 and OMG...I truly wonder.

One of her few chores is to wipe down the kitchen counters. Today when I got home you could see the counters were WET and nothing had been cleaned off she merely swiped at them with a SOPPING wet sponge. So I called her in and asked if the counters were cleaned correctly. She indignantly yelled at me (which is the WRONG thing to do honestly!) that THEY ARE CLEAN. So I advised her ok. Then she could eat her supper right off of the counter and that would be fine for me. She hurumphed and got pissy and I asked her if they were really clean or if they needed wiped down again. Her attitude back to me was...Well if you want them YOUR clean then do it yourself. OMG..I am 9 1/2 months pregnant. I have been working 60 hours a week to pay for HER extra curricular activities and she said that to me!!! Needless to say her father quickly broke in before I rang her little neck.

Monday, February 09, 2009

OK what else do I need?

As far as my baby shower this past weekend I got all of the big stuff I really need.
Now I am down to what of the little things do I need?

I know I need the following :

Baby Bath Towels (obviously optional)
Blankets (at least 5 more)
Bottles (8-10)
Cloth Diapers (for burp rags)
Swaddling blanket?
Cradle sheet (if available)
Mittens
Baby Tylenol
Baby gas relief
EAR thermometer
Laundry soap
Nasal aspirator

OK now I know I have enough clothes for her and the things above are needed, But can anyone else think of what I need? Anything? Cause I am clueless..

Monday, February 02, 2009

Happy Happy Joy Joy :)

I have been doing good. It's getting closer and closer and I am getting excited. It's getting harder to move though :) But honestly in all it's going well.

Things are going well right now and I have been slowly but surely getting the baby stuff all ready to go. I am soooo anxious for this Saturday when I will get my baby shower stuff. My brother and sister in law bought me the travel system which I just love. I'm honestly not sure what all i'm getting but at least I know I will have a place to put her in while travelling, and a crib here at home and my twin gave me her old porta crib (which my almost 3 year old neice still sleeps in when she visits my house :)

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Not much longer.....

I'm sitting here at 11:30 at night trying to decide what to do next. There is so much to do before Sarah get's here I cannot believe it. I swear six months ago when I found out I was pregnant I thought that I had all the time in the world and here it is...26 day's before she should be here and I am sitting here freaking out!

I am so excited that she is coming. I am excited that next week I get to have a huge party just for her :) I cannot believe that I am having a baby. A little tiny bundle of joy all to myself. After thinking for years that I just could not have one, I am going to have my own little sweetheart.

Dennis bought her the cutest bib/blanket/hat/bootie setup from Disney when he took Ashley this week. It is so friggin adorable. It even has her name embroidered on the hat and the bib. I'm going to take it in to get her name embroidered on her blanket too so I can take her to get cute pictures in it :) I am truly excited about all the pink going on :) I do need to start washing all this stuff and getting it ready for when she get's home.
fun times I tell ya!@!!

Cathy

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

28 More days :)

Can you believe it. I am 36 weeks. I went to the doctor and he said that I am 2 cm dialated. how exciting :)
I have nothing done. I got home today and rather hten cleaning baby stuff. I cleaned most of my bedroom/home office. Tomorrow when I get home from the dr I need to start cleaning up all the baby stuff and put together her bassinet. I love it. It's so cute and I cannot wait to see her in the bassinet.
I screwed up the other day. While on my way home from my sisters house with the crib in the back of the truck, Somehow it caught air and came undone from the straps and bye bye birdie...it hit the ground while I was going 40mph and shattered into a million pieces. I stood there crying to my sister on the phone and trying to pick the stuff up out of the middle of the road. Gawsh I suck. A $300 crib..in splinteres.

Now to buy a new crib..damn...

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Sunday, January 25, 2009

31 days and counting down

I'm so excited. My shower is just two weeks away. The baby should be here in about four weeks. How much more excited can I get? I start my weekly dr's appointments on Tuesday. On Wednesday I am going to be officially 9 months pregnant. WOW. it's all rushing up on me all of a sudden!

I will finally take a belly photo since I finally look less fat and more pregnant which makes me happy. Well it did until some little girl goes. MOM that woman is FAT.....when I was walking into Wal Mart the other day. I was almost in tears.

I know i'm fat. but darn it..I'm almost 9 months pregnant too!!!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

41 Days left!!!

Can everyone just believe I have 41 days left. I cannot believe it. I'm sitting here looking at what we have. (Which is NOT much) and OMG I need so many things. I am so excited though. I had an emergency trip to the L&D on Monday night. Little Sarah decided to STOP moving for almost a full day. I could not figure out what in the world was wrong. I kid you not the second I sat on the table and relaxed and the hooked up the baby monitor...THE KID MOVED...ALL OVER THE PLACE...what a rugrat LOL :) so now... She's been moving. I guess when I am severely dehydrated, she will slow down moving. So I have been averaging about 6 bottles of water a day and then some other fluids.

My baby shower plans are well on their way. I am so excited. I have lot's of friends coming from all over Arizona and I cannot wait to meet with them as I've been so busy with work and everything I have not had time to connect with them all.

So this baby not only nets me the one little thing I have been wanting for years and year. I now get to have Sarah and get to meet up with all my friends. and although many of them will not know eachother...I get to be their connection :)
Oh and we get to watch my sisters new 62" flat screen TV LOL