Saturday, December 27, 2008

The nights after Christmas..and all thru the house....

All of the creatures are stirring..however we got rid of the mouse.

We got the kids a Wii for Christmas..or well Santa got the Wii (why does the fat guy in red get to give the GOOD gifts) I have to say it is the most LOVED gift in the house. Brian (the roommate) never touches any of the other games like the PS2 or anything like that. However even HE will get in on the action and play.
We bought on extra Wii-mote and nunchuck however, we are going to have to invest in two more..we are definately not a sharing family LOL :)
The kids are definately getting exercise LOL :)

My niece also got a Wii at her house so when she came to spend the night last night she brought us her two wii motes and that allowed us all to was much easier then sharing :) So alas... after payday happens again we will have to invest :)

Update on being preggers :)

I am tired, I am grumpy. I am not sure why I am as grumpy as I have been. Really there is a lot of stress and I am really quite frustrated. I think it's mostly because things are not going my way. ie: there is none of the things I always wanted for my first child ie: nursery, her own decorations etc. We are going to have to squeeze everything in to the room with the kids, the baby will have to share everything etc.
But it will work out. God has a plan I know that much. I really need to si back and relax and try to enjoy it..cause once she's here..things are really really going to change....

Monday, December 22, 2008

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


1) Choose the 4th folder where you store your pictures on your computer

2) Select the 4th picture in the folder

3) Explain the picture

4) Tag 4 people to do the same

NO CHEATING! (cropping, editing, etc!)

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

71 more days..oh and a funny story

I'm sitting in my chair. with my laptop in front of me. Emily (the kitten!) is sitting on my boobs/stomach area.
Sarah started kicking.
Apparently she doesnt like Emily sitting on her. So Sarah kicked real hard and the cat just jumped up. For a second I was just laughing. and then sarah kicked again. Then the darn cat POUNCED on my stomach. Dennis does this thing where he will put his hand under the blankets and antagonize the kitten to no end. And the kitten will attack his hand and inevitably it ends with Dennis going OOOOUUUCHHHH she bit me!! cause she's got sharp teeth and claws.

So you can imagine what I did when she pounced by belly. Darn kitten and kid are already playing...they just dont know :)

Some photos from long ago :)

Ten more weeks

It's hard to sit here and think. OMG..ten more weeks. adn I will have this little, tiny, helpless creature that I am supposed to take care of for the next 18 years. She is kicking like crazy all the time. I went to my 30 week checkup this morning. The dr says everything looks good and I'm ok to go off to California for a week with the family (since I am still pretty early in my third trimester) he did say that I am not allowed to travel outside of the area once the middle of January comes around. So I will have to let my boss know that.

I can't believe Christmas is almost here. Dennis gave me one of my presents from him and the kids on Sunday. It's a beautiful eddie Bauer Newport Bassinet. Which is one I wanted but figured he'd nix the idea since it's $150!! And heck for $200 I could get a crib. But I got what I want :) and i'm going to put it together after Christmas and start getting a little more read :)
I am so excited! :)

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Christmas Ornament traditions

When I was growing up my grandparents would buy us a new ornament every year..Imagine doing that for 6 grandkids!! When I was 17 I got married and moved to Missouri, That Christmas my grandmother shipped off all of my ornaments and a new one too! I loved those ornaments. They were the most special things in the world to me. There were some that were just cheap dollar store type with my name written in Sharpie on the bottom, and there is one that is so elaborate that it makes me giggle with glee when I see it. When I turned 24 my ex husband and I divorced…He destroyed all but one of them (the elaborate one happened to have a piece broke off so I had put it in a box and stashed it away in the thought that I was going to fix it then pack it back with the Christmas stuff) Here it is five years later. I cried two years ago when I purchased a tree and realized I had absolutely no ornaments to put on it. My best friends from Texas were thoughtful enough to actually purchase a bunch of them and send them to me for Christmas of 05…My first Christmas alone. This year when my new step children and I were putting up the tree (I’ve been married for over two years, we just didn’t put up a tree the last two years) I cried for an hour because I love these new ornaments just as much….That’s not to say I don’t want to punch my ex in the mouth for what he did to the other ones. But these new ones are so special. So I think everyone should have this tradition and their children will hopefully love and cherish these ornaments as much as my twin sister, brother and cousins all do.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

One word Tag

One Word Tag

Where is your mobile phone? Purse

Where is your significant other? Room

Your hair color? Blonde

Your mother? Bullhead

Your father? California

Your favorite thing? Family

Your dream last night? fitful

Your dream goal? Happiness

Room Your In? Living

Your hobby? reading

Your fear? Bugs

Where do you want to be in 6 years? HOME

Where were you last night? Home

What you're not? Grumpy

Where you grew up? California

The last thing you did? Nachos

What are you wearing? Clothes


Your pets? Playing

Your computer? Laptop

Your mood? Relaxed

Missing someone? Yeppers

Your car? White

Something you're not wearing? Ring

Favorite shop? Target

Your summer? Far

Love someone? Many

Your favorite color? Blue

When is the last time you laughed? Minutes

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Not Me Monday many people are doing this now days I guess I can chime in to.

I most definately did not sleep late every day this week, nor did I take full advantage of the fact that I work from home in order to work in my PJ's until the last minute.

I most definately did not find a kitten at the store Thursday night when hubby and I went to Pets Mart to look for fish for the kids' fish tank and then end up getting said kitten.

I most definately did not feed said kitten fish off of my dinner plate on Friday just because I knew she would eat it.

I most definately did not take my nieces, and kids to the Costco and let them try samples of everything including the coffee samples just to let them have some fun.

I did not allow the above mentioned kitten to sleep on top of me last night and the night before. And she is not sitting on my baby tummy right now kneading it with her paws..trying to get comfy. While I feel the baby kicking at her.

I did not allow said kitten to terrorize my 90 lb German Shepard/Blue Heeler all weekend.

I did not sleep until TEN am this morning and then at four pm take a two hour nap. And I am not now up after midnight..watching family guy.

Goodnight everyone :)

and here's a picture of that kitten I did not get form PetsMart

Monday, November 17, 2008

Tag...I'm It

1. Who was your FIRST prom date?
Travis Tiffany, First love, and eventual husband and subsequent EX-husband

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
Nope.. I've not talked to him since March of 05...

3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?
The first one I remember is GoldSchlager...YUCK

4. What was your FIRST job?
I worked at Jack In The Box when I turned 15 1/2

5. What was your FIRST car?
1985 Ford Escort hatchback...

6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today?
I don't remember getting a text today except work (Our claims come through a text system)

7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?
I thought of Sarah..she kept moving around.

8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
I honestly do not remember her name. I remember my kindergarten teacher is/was Karen.

9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
I flew from Southern California to Northern California when I was 4-5 years old

10. Who was your FIRST best friend and are you still friends with them?
My twin sister has always been my best friend. No matter what she has always been there for me.

11. What was your FIRST sport played?
I played softball..

12. Where was your FIRST sleep over?
Rebecca Villaneda's house :)

13. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?
Hmm... I am pretty sure it was Dennis...that was over 12 hours' ago...

14. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
I was in my own wedding when I was 17

15. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
I got up and went POTTY...

16. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?
I went to see NKOTB with my twin, my aunt and my uncle for our 10th birthday

17. FIRST tattoo or piercing?
I got my ears pierced when I was like 6 weeks old..

18. FIRST foreign country you went to?
The only foreign country I have been too is Mexico

19. What was your FIRST run in with the law?
I got pulled over for lack of tail lights. however I drove a stick shift so no, they would probably of not seen the brake lights cause I used to down shift to stop (bad brakes darn it!) I was 16

20. When was your FIRST detention?
Honestly never had detention

21. What was the FIRST state you lived in?
I was born and raised in CALIFORNIA

22. Who was the FIRST person to break your heart?
My now Ex husband

23. Who was your FIRST roommate?
MY if we don't count her it would be my now ex husband and if you dont want to count him then it would be Tina.

24. Where did you go on your FIRST limo ride?
My mom got a limo for a night out with my step father and we got to be taken to my grandparents in it. Nice long black limo..with a sun roof that we took turns popping our heads out of :)

Friday, November 14, 2008

Whale Wars

OK so we have been watching a show on Animal Planet a show called Whale Wars.
This is a show about some activits that board Whaling ships in the Antartic waters and they consistantly throw stuff at the Japanese ships (some kind of acid that stinks really really bad) and they push stuff into the path of the ship in the hope that they will tear up the rotors of the ship etc. To me that is just nuts. Granted I can understand that people want to act out against whaling, however to try to hurt people like that, and then say that you are not a pirate is just ignorant. You try to destroy another boat, you board it with the intent of "teaching someone a lesson" you are a pirate. YOu have no right to board the ship.
In the show tonight the Japanese took the people that boarded their ship and basically tied or handcuffed the guys. So the people on board of the "sea Shepard" which is the activists boat. Anyways they basically call what I guess would be the coast guard in that area saying that they have taken them hostage and that they are keeping them against the war. Well to the Japanese ship, these two people that boarded the ship are Pirates. They are there to take over, to be hostile.
So the Activists run their boat up against the side of the the Japanese Ship and start throwing the acid again. Then they get pissed off when the Japanese start throwing flash bombs. Anyways. I just think this is ignorant. These people are activists that are being idiots. I'm not a whaler, I love watching them in the wild open. However for people to be violent towards whalers that are (under their guise anyways) doing what is right under the laws of that part of the ocean... Even GreenPeace has kicked the guy that runs the Sea Shepard from their organization (He was one of the founding members of Green Peace!!!) So that should tell you something.

Anyways. Just my rant...

Saturday, November 08, 2008

So..How goes it?

So I am officially at 24 weeks...The week of viability. Things are going well. The dr says that the last ultrasound shows everything looks good. They are going to do one more ultrasound just to make sure that she is still growing like she needs too.
I have to say it's just amazing how I feel her move from the inside and out. It's the most awesome feeling in the entire world. I love it. Although sometimes it hurts like the dickents! LOL but it feels great too.

Work is going well . I am always tired but I honestly do not know what else to do but keep sleeping. And if this is the worst I feel...then it will be alright.
As of 12/1/08 I will no longer be climbing about on roofs though because I do not want to take any chances. The dr says as long as I am comfortable doing it I can. But I don't think I feel comfortable anymore.

Other then that, not much has been going on recently. Just waiting another 100 days or so and then I shall have a little angel to call my own.

Granted I have two step kids, but it's not the same. I honestly do not know what has gotten into them but lately they have not been listening, they have not cared to do what they are supposed too and I have no idea what to do in order to change this... The only thing that gets them off their rear's is yelling and fankly I am sick of yelling. They are sick of hearing me yell.
and i'm frustrated!!

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Sad day

Today is a sad sad day. As I sit here and it was just announced that Barak Obama....has won the presidential election. This marks the opportunity for our world to sure change...and unfortunately, I do not believe it will be very good. McCain lost because so many were so desperate to vote in a black man, they did not care who they voted in. Hillary would have been a better choice.
The sad part is for many who own guns, you better start tucking them away and hope and pray that no one knows that you have them.

Whatever our difference...We are fellow Americans....

I hope and pray that this doesnt totally change the way our economy is, or how our daily lives are led. That we do not have a total breakdown in our social system, This is goign to be quite an interesting four years...

Now please do not think that I was/am a McCain supporter, but I definately do not believe in all the things that Obama has agreed on, Obama believes in partial birth abortion, taking away guns from a man who should have the right to bear arms. etc etc....How sad..

Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween...

Took the kids out. Here's a few photos. Top one has my two kiddos and my sisters two daughters. the second on is my Dog Sadie. She had to trick or treat with us, which she loves :) She get's lots of attention. Yes she is spoiled.

Now the baby update:
She moves around so much I wonder what in Gods green earth can this kid be doing in there? Wow!. She is truly a gift from God because she is very strong and Wow I never thought I would feel this way...The movements just re-affirm that my wish is truly coming true.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

How is it?

I am only 22 weeks pregnant and I am exhausted. I went to bed at 11pm last night and did not get up until 8:15am. Over nine hours of sleep and i'm still exhausted What is going on here. I get half way thru my day and start thinking..Is it nap time yet?

I go on Monday for an "anatomy" scan of the baby to verify for sure that its' a girl.

Luckily work has not been too horrible. It's actually slowed down to a steady pace. This weekend we are going to go hunting as a family. Ashley and I got Deer tags however since I am pregnant and cannot shoot,nor am I up for getting up at four am... I am signing my tag over to my "dependant child" ie: my son Jeffery.
Now let's see if I get any deer jerkey..yumm...
Although..I will eat the Jerkey, I will NOT eat the meat otherwise. Dennis and Brian are getting steaks out for dinner tomorrow...I will be eating Mac and Cheese.
The kids will eat Antelope steaks with the guys... I just cannot Stomach that!! :)


Sunday, October 12, 2008

Time to really start praying

I am officially 20 weeks along already. And i'm starting to have immense fears.
I had to go to the doctor last friday. And found both good and bad news. The baby is doing fine. I on the other hand..not so good. Right now my cervex is extemly short and this can be a huge precursor to premature labor. So I am on strict "pelvic" rest. Not a huge deal honestly but it's scary when it comes to thinking that this can lead to this baby coming way too soon. I do not want to lose this child that I prayed for, for so long. Now I have to be so careful. And then add to the fact that I will have also having a problem with my blood pressure. I cannot continue to stress. but how do you just "don't stress" like everyone tells me! Argh.. I definately need to figure out something. I cannot do the whole bed rest thing. I have a husband and kids to provide for. It's not like their biological mother is going to be putting forth a darn penny for their care.

I need a vacation....

Thursday, October 02, 2008


it's funny how I always said that if I ever got pregnant I would not be an emotional wreck nor would I cry or complain. (granted I was in like year five of six years of fertility treatments back then)'s free regin. I was dumb back then. I didn't understand what happens to your body when you are pregnant. I am always tired....emotional....and have heartburn darn it!!!!
but i'm ok with it


Monday, September 29, 2008


Married Survey



Do you live near your family, your spouses, both or neither? I live near my twin sister and Hubby's family
How often do you see your parents or siblings? I see my twin every two or three days my mom and dad every couple of months
How does your spouse feel about that? I'm sure the fact that I see my twin so much drives him nuts..but he understands
How many nieces and nephews do you have? I have Three Nieces and two nephews on my side of the family. And one niece and nephew on hubby's side.
Who were you closest to as kids out of your immediate family? My twin, and my Cousin sherene
Who are you closest to now? My twin and my cousin Sherene
Why? because we have always been close
Do you have any siblings who still have a little growing up to do? LOL nah we are all pretty good.
If you could save your younger brothers and sisters from a mistake you made, what would it be? I don't have any younger siblings
Who in your family can you talk to about anything at all? My twin


How many GOOD friends do you have? four or five
Have you had any falling outs with anyone you thought was your good friend? yes I have previously
Do you have as many friends now as you had in High School? I was shy and worked a lot so I have more now then back then.
Do you still party with your friends? LOL i'm a mother partying for me
What else do you do with them? Enjoy going out to dinner, Go to church..those kinds of things
Are you surprised at who your closest friends have turned out to be? Yes..actually..
Which of your friends has the most high paying job? Hmm...I actually think I do.
What about the coolest job? My friend Aerin
Whose life surprises you most? Aerin's
Which of your friends do you have the most in common with now? My twin


Have you ever had a problem with your in-laws? Nope
Which in-laws? any of them..
Do you get along with all of them? As much as can be expected..
Who do you like the best? My sister in law is awesome..does that count?
Who dont you get along with? his bio mom
Have you ever gotten into an argument with the one you dont get along with? nope
Did you forgive and forget? I usually do..
Who is the quiet one? I dunno much about his's best left that way
Who is the loud one? Dunno
Who is the daredevil? Dunno
Who is the most straightforward? Dunno
What do you like about your in-laws? Not much
Whats one thing you dont ever want to see them do? be near my children
Do they all get along with each other? I guess
When youre hanging out with them, what do they always seem to do? ignore the fact that Dennis and I and the kids are there
Do you join in? not normally.
Where do they mostly hang out? Home
Have you ever been talked about by them? i'm sure..
Do you still like them? Don't care either way.


Have you accrued any debt since turning 18? OH hell...who hasnt
What is your least favorite bill to pay? Credit Card payments
How often are you supposed to pay it? monthly (more on my work card)
How often DO you pay it? Monthly or more
What will your next major purchase be? a new washer more then likely..
Had to buy a washer and dryer yet? We bought a Dryer earlier this washer is probably going to be needed soon.
What about a dishwasher or a stove/oven? We just got a new Dishwasher a year just got installed..I love my dishwasher..
If someone gave you money to improve your life, what would you want fixed first? once the baby is born I would like to get a tummy tuck or something.
How many bills would you say you get every month? Too darn many
How do you feel about credit cards? I use them and thus I pay them


What is the first thing you look for in a place to settle down in? Comfort
Are you planning on staying where you live now? It's paid monthly payments on a house that's too small..better then paying rent to someone for the rest of my life
What do you like about where you live? Very little
What dont you like about it? It's too damn small for a family of four..soon to be five
If you could have all of your family and your spouses family in the same town, would you? Umm my family yes...his...hell can't we move them away farther (except for his bio dad's family..they are pretty nice)
How small is your town? not very..anymore
Whats the most fun thing to do there? not a darn thing
Does everyone there know you? nope
Name another place you think you would like to live. Colorado
Any place you would never want to live? New york


Do you have a first aid kit? Yeppers one in each car and one in the house
Do you know how to give CPR/First Aid? Yeppers..took a couple of classes :)
Ever had to use it? yeppers..once
What medicines do you always try to keep stocked? Tylenol, children tylenol, tummy stuff for adults and kids and cough syrup for adults and kids
Do you often get stress headaches? Unfortunately, yes I do
Do you carry jumper cables in your car? all three of them
Have you ever had to change a flat? yes I have...a couple of months ago..
Can you change the oil? Yes...
What about the battery? yes
Do you work in an office or other setting? other setting..I work from home now..but i've done the office thing for a long time
How long have you worked there? seven months now...
Do you like your co-workers? lol yeppers..I talk to them on the phone daily
Do you hang out with them outside of work? umm not really, we don't live very close by
What do you think of your boss? He's actually very nice and funny.
What age are you dreading? I'm not..
Do you already feel old? No not really..I'm pretty young yet
Do you still get carded for anything? I do..for alcohol and cigarettes
How young does it make you feel completing online surveys? lol it doesnt.
Did I wear your old ass out with all these questions? NO
Do you have arthritis in your old brittle fingers now? NOPE


More surveys @

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

McCain - Palin

I have to say I have been watching closely since Palin was brought into the mix last week. I love the fact that she is very PRO Family. I'm glad she's not yet been shown to be two faced like many others.I think that the McCain and Palin ticket is going to be awesome. But, I'm very upset that they continue to bring Palin's daughter into the fray. She is 17, a child who made a stupid decision to have sex before marriage. however she is making a responsible decision to get married, have her baby and raise the child they made.

God Bless them both and I pray for McCain-Palin to make it!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Officially out of the first Tri-Mester

Isnt life grand. I'm not sick, havent been. I am just incredably tired...always tired. I don't know if it's the depression or the pregnancy.
It's 9pm right now and i'm ready to just sleep...always sleep.
My sister went with me to my last appointment on Friday morning. I know I have been very mouthy and bitchy for the last few weeks. They put me on Zoloft however, I don't believe it's going to work since i've taken it before. but really anything is better then nothing right now...please pray that I get over this!!! Soon.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Baby Ticker :)

It's all becoming so real. Each day I wake up and know that in so many days I will have a baby. A little tiny bundle of joy and energy that will require me to once again re-evaluate priorities and start changing my attitude! My step daughter is excited as heck that she's going to have a little baby or brother. So that she can play with the baby. I laugh because right now she loves seeing Ryleigh because well it's only every four or five days that she get's to see her and play with her and change her and feed her and things like that. but wait until she has to be part of the baby's life every day LOL..I wonder if she will quickly change her attitude. Jeffery wants a baby brother. but said he would gladly change diapers if it meant we got rid of his big sister...even if the baby is a baby girl LOL. I swear kid's say the darndest things. it's aftermidnight i'm going to bed. God bless and goodnight.


Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Week 11

Wow, it's now week 11 and I still do not feel any different. I don't know why that is. I just need a little more time to get used to this I guess. I am happy, I am excited I am just not used to the headaches. I went to the doctor today so that I could get an ultrasound. It's fun times I tell ya. Sitting in the dr's office. Just not knowing what is going on.

the pictures of the baby above is a little well..I am not very far a long. the baby is doing good and measuring well too :)


Thursday, July 31, 2008

ten weeks...

I'm so tired. LOL but I'm happy. I'm full of stew I just got done making. Half the time I eat I am ok. the other half of the time i spend about half my day feeling sick to my stomach. I don't know what to think of that.
It's funny how when iw as going thru infertility treatment I said I would NEVER complain about being pregnant. But I must have lied :)
My husband is happy about the baby, my family is happy as well.
I on the other hand am scared to death that something I am doing or going to do will mess this up for me. I just want to have a happy healthy baby. God will provide I am sure.

The major complaint about everything is that I continue to get migranes. I am not sure why. It's going to kill me!!! When I first started getting migraines when I was married to my first husband, I would pop a couple of migrane medications and sleep. A LOT. but... I cant' take the medication being pregnant. and come on Tylenol does NOT cut this crap.... So please..just decrease the amount of times I feel like crap in a week so I can actually work.

Friday, July 25, 2008

From Infertility to Fertility

For years I wanted a baby. My ex-husband and I tried very hard (me more so then him since I was the one getting all the procedures done!) And the stress and pain of infertility just killed our marriage (among other things). At that point I gave up ever hoping that I would have a baby of my own one day. I did not want to go thru that ever ever ever again. I didnt want my crazy compulshion to have a baby to run my life like I let it so long ago. When I got married my new husband had/has two children. It was a dream for me. I got to be a parent, no midnight feedings, no diapers. It was awesome. We never worried about a baby coming a long because...well...after years of fertility treatment, it just never happened.
Two years after I remarried...I was not feeling well. I could not move without my boobs hurting. It felt like I was going to start my period any day. I was not feeling good. I was tired and drained every day. So even against my better judgement I went ahead and tested....I was late for my period but heck I am usually never "normal" so I went ahead and tested...and there was two lines. TWO lines. What the heck. how could that happen? OK well i know how it happens honestly. but What!!! it just "happened" after allthese years of being told it WOULD NEVER happen.
OH thank God! Miracles do happen!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Tired...A lot

What is the deal with being tired 24/7?? Cause I want to sleep every day for hour's a day. I guess that's part of being pregnant but COME ON I have to work!!! How do so many people birth so many rugrats!!! it's amazing.

Any suggestions?

Saturday, July 12, 2008

is it in my mind?

Since I found out that I am pregnant I have felt more and more naseated and simply exhausted. I know before I found out I was not feeling all that great. but WOW I wonder if some of it is in my mind. If I didn't know would I just ignore it and go on a lot quicker? I dunno. But i'm totally tired. I took a four hour nap this afternoon and i am still tired. I have a load of paperwork to do for work and I am sitting in the living room blogging. Yeah I'm not getting much done am I :) LOL>

Ahh well.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Two lines on the stick

So this morning I was just going about my business but decided that I should pee on a stick this morning as I have been feeling a little "off" lately. So I peed on the stick and this is what came back:

OMG it's real and it's going to happen and if my calculations are approximated right, it's going to be February when this kiddo makes his or her debut. Now to find a dr in the area...


Sunday, June 29, 2008


Ok so there have been some things I have been working on with a lot of help from the doctor. One thing is regrets....He asked me if I have any regrets. I do. I only have a few the biggest one is not a huge deal but it's somewhat frustrating to me.

One is that I never called my Gramma Gray the night before she died. Even though two days before she passed I said I would call her. I got busy with work and life and forgot. When I got the phone call that she died....I was heartbroken. Although I told her I loved her on my last phone call. It was still heartbreaking.

The second, I did not spend enough time telling my Nana how much she meant to me. She and my grandfather both were integril parts in my childhod and between them and my mother and my Grandma gray, they helped to instill an awsesome amount of knowledge and love in my life. She was always there for me and heck everyone else and I have for over a year wondered what if anything anyone in our family could have done to prevent her death.

Other then those two things, I may have a few minor regrets however one of the big ones we discused was if I regeret getting married so young. I had to think about that one. Not because I wondered if I did but I wondered what I would have been had I not gotten married at 17.

I have to say I don't regret it. It took me a long time to get over him. I loved him and still do just not the way I did back then. I wish only the best for him. I know what our life was like. I know that we were very young and I wish in some way that we would have communicated differently and that in the end we had'nt hurt eachother as much as we did. but alas I moved on.

The shrink who I am paying a fortune too asked if the reason I am still so angry stems from the fact that the rumors were spread that I cheated on him. that still to this day haunts me. It hurts me to think that someone would entertain the fact that I cheated on my first husband. I never so much as touched another man except as friends until after we had been seperated for quite a while. No matter what the rumors were I still want to explain myself to him but he will always have his side of the story just as I will.

After losing everything once I am once bitten and twice shy so when i got married the second time I wanted to make sure it would last

I am a strong willed person I am a good person and I can be mean and hateful too when I don't get my way. I'm working on changing that but it sure is not easy. what ever happened to life being easy.

Sunday, May 25, 2008


Where has the time gone? It is almost June. almost half way thru the year. The kids are out of school. I am already half way through my year and have to almost get ready to start buying presents for Christmas again.

I took my new job with the thought that I would be able to spend an awful lot more time working with the kids and the husband instead of with work. Instead now I am least at I get to spend time with them. But I am spending time at a desk in my bedroom away from the kids. I am thankful for the job and everything and am happy for my job but it kind of sucks that I am so new that I have to spend so much time doing what I am because Im trying to do everything to perfection.

Ahh how time makes things change.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Happy Mothers Day

This is my second year being a mother. A step mother but I have earned the right to be called a mother. 6 days a week I awaken to kids in my household that beg for food, require tending and desire attention. They need clean clothes, food, snuggled and loved unconditionally. I am thankful that I am a part of their life. It is actually two years today since I met these two kids. Two years ago today that I lost my heart to these two kiddo's. And for the last two years I have given it my all. Granted I have lost my temper, screamed, thrown my own fair share of tantrums and whined too. Becoming a step parents has not been an easy transition. But they are awesome kids so easily accepting me into their life.

A huge thank you to my mother, my grandmothers, and even my twin, for showing me how to be a good mom.



Wednesday, April 30, 2008


While I am working at my new job I have noted a few different things lately:
(for those that do not know I am a claims adjuster for homes, motorcycles and RV's and well darn near anything really)

1. When you are expecting a person to come to your home, it is customary to at least make a path through your home for me to walk. Honestly I dont care that your home is a mess, my home is usually a mess because I work a lot and have no time to clean it but I can at least walk through it.

2. If you have a claim, and have a crappy memory try writing down the events as they occur. Telling me fifty different versions of what happened is going to confuse me and by getting mad at me for asking you twenty of the same questions in ten different ways in order to clarify things is not going to help the problem.

3. If you have a pipe break, and I call you and tell you to clean up the water, you do not need to let the water stay on the floor so I can see it for myself. I know what happens when a pipe breaks. I am not an idiot, I have been doing this for years. If you do not mitigate your damages, I will not pay for the additional damages because you are too lazy to clean it up!!

4. If someone breaks into your home and steals something, it is very customary to CALL THE POLICE. Just because you dont want to bother them, does not mean you dont need to call them. It is important to call them because it says in your contract that YOU signed that you will contact them. If you do not contact them, I may not pay your claim.

5. When you are in an accident with another vehicle, pull over and call the police, I dont care if the other person left the scene, I dont care if you are ten minutes away from home. you need to pull over and get a report. Otherwise I am going to assume you probably hit and ran someone and may decide you are at fault and code the accident with you being more at fault. And if you read your contract I have that right because you didnt hold up your end of the bargain.

6. Read your contract. I do not decline your claim because I feel vengeful. I do it because there is no coverage. Or because it specifically states that it is not covered. I am not a hateful person. It is easier for me to write out a check to you then it is for me to tell you it's not covered, then go home and tell my supervisor that I need to decline a claim and write a long friggin decline letter out and send it to you. It's a pain in my rear to decline a claim. it's easy for me to write a check.

7. If you have questions ask them. do not assume anything. assuming does one thing, makes you look stupid. I have been doing this for years and I STILL ask questions. I read contracts every day and ask questions. I am not perfect and I may make a mistake, I expect that you may possibly do so as well. But dont always assume that I am stupid because I need to step out to my car and read your policy. I am not the book o'knowledge. My company has over 400 contracts, it is not possible for me to memorize every single one of them.

8. Lock up your darn dogs. I cannot tell you how many times I drive up to a house (usually a mobile home in the middle of BFE) and they have a dog running around outside and I cannot access the house because their dog is running around loose outside barking up a storm possibly wanting to eat my left leg for lunch. I am not dinner, please lock up your dog.

Monday, March 24, 2008


OK so lately I have had to enjoy flying a few different times. OK actually I cannot say I enjoy it. So I decided to put a few things on here to give people some information about what should not happen.

1. To the lady with the $800 Louis Vitton backpack/purse. When there are 150 seats of which only half of them are taken...Sitting next to the family of four and asking them to remove their kids diaper bag from the seat so you can sit down...How much ruder could you get..How bout you skip your happy but down about five seats and sit there...You know ...the place that has no one else sitting there and it would not involve the mom having to put the kid down on the floor in order to move everything for YOU to sit down to enjoy your burrito.

2. To the husband and wife (I only say that as they both had rings on their left is possible that they were cheating I don’t really know) When you are in public it is common courtesy to not sit there rubbing all over eachother and sticking your hands up eachothers shirts and down eachothers pants. It is not appropriate for the children in the area nor do I want to see it.

3. To the parents who’s toddler keeps screaming....Seriously...I understand you do not want to hear it...but for those of us that are sitting around you...we want to hear it even less..Doctors will prescribe something for kids that fly...Or you can give them Benadryl or something else. But please do not make everyone around you suffer. It’s not fair to anyone that has to sit on the plane for the next four hours.

4. To the stewardess...When someone asks you for a seat belt not make a big scene...Just say yes...retrieve it and discreetly hand it over. The woman next to me was embarrassed enough about asking for one...the haughty attitude and rude way you yanked it out of the overhead and practically threw it at her is just screwed up. I was tempted to ask for one as the seat belt was snug..however after watching the horror on the poor woman’s face next to me...I restrained myself and just said forget it.

5. To the guy in the business suit. I am sorry that you have to fly with us lower class people. But making us get up twice so that you could retrieve crap out of your carry on and then you proceed to put your headphones on while you work on your laptop and ignore the stewardess when she asks if you would like a drink..and when you finally notice that I have a drink don’t give ME and attitude because you did not pay any attention when they came by TWICE already. Then you poke at the call button rudely insinuating that they ignored you on purpose because they are bitches... That makes you look like an idiot and a jerk. I hope that the suit that you spilled the hot sauce packet on never gets clean..You big JERK.

6. To the people standing in line waiting to check in... Don’t let your kids run off and then expect everyone to jump out of the way because you can’t keep track of them. Heck they make leashes for parents like you because you cannot be a good enough parent to pay attention to what is going on. your kids are more important than your friend that you are blabbin on the cell phone with. Shut it attention to whats going on around you and the line you are in.

7. To the stupid college students running off for spring break.... Running around in shorts and a t-shirt and getting pissed off because it’s cold in Cincinnati...your an idiot. You should of dressed for the location you are going too. Who’s fault is it that your an idiot. Did your mommy and daddy not teach you how to dress appropriately?

8. The idiot on the cell phone. When the plane lands and we are taxing to the’s fine to check messages etc...but as we wait the 20 or so minutes for people to file off the plane ahead of us...I do not want to hear about your dinner plans. I do not want to hear about your mothers galbladder surgery or the fact that Timmy Jr got caught jacking off in the boys locker room. No one on the plane wanted to know..but you said it loud enough for everyone to hear about it.. far i’m done.......I might think of more..

Saturday, March 01, 2008

New Job

OK- I'm running a little late in regards to getting this information to everyone. Here are a few interesting points of information.

1. I recently quit my job
2. I got a new one
3. I am in Ohio for five and a half weeks for my new job.
4. I miss the hell out of my family I cannot believe how insane this is that I am this far away and they are all home without me.
5. I quit going to school because I was so busy that I could not cope. With my new job

Clean House

OK so I am watching a show called Clean House. It is amazing how dirty peoples houses are and then they expect someone to come in and clean their house for them and then you come in after that and you see what they have done to your house and you bitch and moan about it. are complaining that someone is coming in and cleaning up your apartment or home and not doing it the way you wanted it. Well that's your own fault. You should have done it the way you wanted it. it's your own fault. It just drives me nuts. People need to quit hoping that someone else will bail your ass out. Work your ass off and clean it up and deal with your life. For Christs sake to

Friday, February 15, 2008

Killing someone?

I will never understand someone's desire to kill another peson. I have in the past thought about ending my own life....When I was going through a divorce I wanted to die. I thought my life was over. And then life moved on and I am as happy as ever. And lately we hear about things like the recent NIU shooting where Steven Kazmierczak someone who is close to my age, a college graduate with honors who decided to walk into a classroom and open fire killing so far six students. What the hell was this person thinking. He took the lives of innocent people. Why?
Although I have wanted to smack the hell out of someone out of their stupidity I have never thought of harming someoine physically beyond that. Who the hell does someone think they are..>That their life is so bad that theyu should take not only their ownlife but that of someone else. That is not fair to the people that are killed by them at all. If you are going to kill someone tell us why. Don't make us wait in pain and agony. The pain left behind we will never heal from. It is horrible and we will forever be jaded by it. If you feel the need to kill youself fine...but leave the innocent people out of it! For those mothers out there that want to kill themselves...fine..but don't kill your kids....

Stupid freaking people just piss me off :( It's just plain sad and disgusting.
I pray that the family members of each of those that are innocent are

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Trials and Tribulations

I'm so excited. I just found out that I got the job that I applied for over a month ago. The new position let's me wrok from home, Make more money, Get a company vehicle and just plain have fun. I haver to run away to Ohio for five weeks so i'm going to miss the hell out of my family. but I have to say we shall persevere.

There is going to be a lot of changes going on as well because I do have an awful lot of work to do before I can work from home. Moving Dennis and I into the larger bedroom, cleaning up and painting the house and things like that. I"m excited though all the changes i've been wanting for a while will happen because they HAVE too :) and thus I learned...All things will happen eventually but will normally happen only when they are required. and if someone bitches..well i'm the one having to be alone the longest. Five weeks with no family..and away from my twin again... and my step kids. i'm going to miss the heck out of them. Oh and as always hubs too..I love him

Friday, February 08, 2008

Valentines Day...The day to make the world sad..

once a year like tax time, or your annual pap smear comes the day that is called valentines day.... do you feel bad yet??? no??? well you should because thats what its all about... unless your rich and taken

for those of you out there who are alone, single, widowed or for whatever reason have nobody. maybe you just want to forget but no chance of that this month unless you put a pick axe through your brain. the commercials are there to show you the presents and the attention you are sure not to be getting from that special no one.

are you taken??? well men, see those diamonds on TV and the happy women receiving them??? well you should feel bad for not buying one for your woman??? why??? because the commercial says so. does it matter that you treat her wonderfully? no . does it matter that you cant afford it? no! use a credit card.dont get me wrong, I have nothing against diamonds personally, they never cut me off in traffic or eat the last piece of pizza in the fridge, but they are an extravagance that people should not be pressured to feel bad about if they dont have the expendable money to waste on it.

Ladies who are taken, unless you are in highschool, this is a babyish holiday, seriously, you are a woman not a teen in a popularity contest to show off your trinkets. unless you landed a rich one, dont expect diamonds. be happy with the flowers that will die, believe me he over paid for those just to make you happy, or the candy or whatever he gets you. remember he had to go to a public place and buy this sappy girly stuff in front of other people. if that aint love, then what is?????

(I had to borrow this from my friend michelle. she's just friggin awesome...

Sunday, February 03, 2008


For the last few months I have been looking for a new job. The company I work for is awesome in so many ways, but many of the changes I am unhappy about. I want to be able to succeed, and yet I do not want to have to drive 50 plus miles each way. I spend ten hours at work add three hours a day for drive time and I'm exhausted before I get home. I am grumpy and whiney and frankly not very nice.
Now... I am in the running for a position with a cool company that would give me the opportunity to succeed, work from home and get soem traveling too. Travelling would be awesome. Being able to go away and know what I get to go back to would be interesting. I have also been looking forward to this job and I dont even know if I am going to be getting it. I will find out on or before the 8th. So anyone reading this, please pray for me like crazy!! I'm

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Another year

Wow it is already 2008. Amazing really considering everything I have been through. I am so ready for this new year with great new things to come. In the past year we dealt with a close call with my husbands life. A few car accidents (none of them at fault!) Death's within our family and then Multiple ups and downs in jobs and things like that. Finally life is Calming down. I'm fitting into my life as a step mother a little bit better. I'm attempting to work very hard towards being a more positive person. over the last few years i've become extremly negative and that's not fair to anyone in my family. I cannot believe how much I have in my life and how much of it I have been taking it for granted. Thank you God for everything you have given me.