So today is my first day back after being off work for five days. Hubby has been quite sick due to a cold as well as earlier this year (HA HA...it's only the 15th!) he was in the hospital because of his Chron's disease. So anyways. I've been taking time off to make sure that he is alright. Nothing scares me more then the thought of losing him.
When he was in the hospital the last time he ended up getting too much of a painkiller and it almost killed him. He stopped breathing and it really freaked me out. They called me at 4:45am and told me that they were transferring him to ICU. They couldnt tell me exactly what was going on as they had just started the transfer. I was there within half an hour. All I remember thinking as I drove was..."we've only been married six months...this isnt fair...I cant lose him already....I cant live without him" I was so afraid as I made phone calls to my sister, Dennis' grandparents, bio dad's house and others. I just could not believe that this was happening to us. Now that he is home and alright i'm still constantly freaked out. I cannot sleep at night with him next to me without thinking he's not breathing or something silly like that. I wake up all night long..and have to go to the living room to sleep without checking on him every ten minutes.
The drug's are just NOT helping me at all to cope with this. I'm angry, frustrated, and extremly bitchy lately. Why is the darn anti depressant/anti anxiety drugs working correctly. I truthfully don't know what to do at this point. I have a appointment with the Shrink tomorrow morning. I sure as heck hope that in some way this issue can be resolved...cause I definately cannot keep doing this.....
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