Monday, November 21, 2016

Life, Happiness.... New me

So it's coming up on a year since my divorce was final.  Life has a way of changing... whether you're ready for it or not.  Personally I've struggled with being ready.  I am so much happier being single.  I love not having to ask permission or ask if it's ok if I spend time with my sister or her family.

My daughter.  The light of my life.  I do not know how I can ever not think about her first.

With that being said.  Things are changing and I have to decide.  In January I have to move from this rental or sign another year lease the rent is going up over $100 a month AND they want to add a pet fee every month so it would be close to $160 more a month... So If I move am I going to move to a new house to rent, or am I going to buy a house?  I am so ready to have my own house and be able to paint and do things my way but I am still working on my credit. So we shall see...

Sarah wants me to get a place with a pool...  HAHA...  5 years ago there was no way in hell I would get a POOL with a young child but she's finally big enough and since I do not plan on having any more kiddos...I think it would be ok at this point in my life.

Another thing I have to decide on is about my health.  I have endometriosis...  but now the doctor things it may be PCOS as well.. (Seriously!???)  So...  In January I will have to go to have a laparoscopy to determine what to do.  During the laparoscopy, they may decide that I will have to have a hysterectomy,  if that happens..there will never be a chance of having a baby.  I'm not positive how I feel about that.  I know right now i'm 37 and I have no need for another child.  I spend so much time with work and Sarah, having another child would likely make me crazy without having a partner that would help.  And honestly right now I want to focus on ME...and SARAH....  So it's frustrating I don't know what I want.  Would I seriously be very upset if I didn't have the ability to have another child? Or would I be ok with that? I've always wanted a large family, but it doesn't seem like that's really in the cards for me.

Then comes work.  I love my job. I love what I do,  I've been offered a possible position with a large insurance company.  I would still work from home, still be a field adjuster.  Just more money... and more responsibility.  I would still have autonomy with Sarah's needs (IE: being able to take time off when needed, work from home etc. )

I've been with my current company for 9 years.  I love my co-workers, I know what is expected of me.  So do I want to lose my 3rd week of vacation? Do I want to have to learn new systems etc?  
I'm thinking long and hard about it.  I need to make sure it's best for Sarah too as her medical insurance is pretty much my #1 responsibility...

So there are a lot of changes,  But in all.  Life has been great.  I am so thankful for my family.  They don't let me get down, my niece and nephew are always here to cheer me up when Sarah's at her dad's for the week.  I have awesome friends that I am so very very thankful.  I never knew how many people loved me until I got divorced and I needed help....  and they were here for me.  And for that. I am so very very thankful...

Some pictures from a recent trip Sarah got to take.  This is the Bat Cave.  because Sarah is a diabetic and someone saw what a strong little princess she is, she was chosen to have up to 30 of her closest friends join her for a fun time at the Bat Cave.  While there they got to ride in the BatMobile and the BatMotorcycle. It was so much fun for the kids.  And then...even better was that Sarah got to accept a $2000 check for another child to get a Service Dog. is a very very awesome foundation that I am now donating to because of how much I love and appreciate the work that they do.

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