Sunday, December 05, 2004

me me me me me i wanna talk about me...

There's a song that i've heard...that goes.... "i'm not supposed to love her anymore" it seems to work that way for me....I'm not supposed to love my ex husband anymore. But I cant. I just cant stop loving him. how the heck am I supposed to stop loving him? Is it even possible? it's so darn frustrating!
I just want my life to be better. To be happier and enjoy my life. is it possible anymore? It doesnt seem like it to me anymore. I want my life back. The home, the family. etc. Where do I have to go now? I have nothing but my dog and my kitten at this point. I think in April i'm going to move to Arizona. I just cant stand the thought of being alone for the rest of my life. I just want to be happy. Is that possible? I dont want to be 70 years old and alone. With no children or anyone to love me besides my pets. I dont want to have sixy cats and a few dogs just being stupid like that. i'm sick of it. i'm sick of being alone and i've only been alone for a year.

Is this how it's supposed to be? Am I supposed to be unhappy? Is this what God has in store for me? I just dont know anymore........


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