Sunday, July 17, 2005

One of those days

Have you ever had one of those days. Where you just wish there was someone at home you could go home too and spill out every hurt and woe? Today was one of those days. Combined with the fact that I dont think that the person I was hoping to date for a while even cares that I exist. I text messaged him twice today and never recieved a reply. It seems like the only time we get together to do something is when it's convient for him. I dunno. I dont want to be someones F*** buddy. I want more then that and I guess he's not wanting more then that. So I deleted his number out of my cell phone........and off my Messenger list. I dont need someone like that in my life anymore. If i'm not even good enough for a text message or phone call every once in a while...I dont need it. I dealt with abandonment issues from my father all my childhood and my entire married life I felt as if my ex didnt want anything to do with me and stayed away all the time. I dont want a boyfriend like that as well. Is it even possible anymore to find a man that wants a managomous relationship?

I'm not asking for a man to take care of me. I can do that fine all on my own. I do however want my emotional needs met. Maybe i'm too emotionally needy. I dont know anymore. Truthfully I dont know what i'll do if the above mentioned person does call me. I text him thursday about making plans for this weekend... he replied that he wanted to go...but then ignores me. I give least for now.... I'll just move on to bigger and better things I guess...too bad...I really liked this person.

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